Tag Archive: fat


I Feel Fat

It’s Spring break and my whole family is home. It’s great, but I’m completely off my regular schedule. I haven’t gone out to walk in over a week and it’s been about the same for ChaLEAN Extreme. I was about halfway through Push Circuit Week 2 so I’m going to just start that one over…soon. I’ve been pretty consistent for a while now so why have I suddenly turned back into a couch potato? Good question.

I think it finally started to bother me that no one had joined the walking group. I was going to bed early, giving up time with my husband at night, to get out and walk at 8:15. Why 8:15? I thought (actually I know) there are a lot of moms who take their kids down to the bus stop and don’t run off to work afterward. I figured they’d like to go walking soon after the bus leaves since they’re up and outside anyway. Guess I was wrong. That’s fine, but I no longer see the point of sacrificing time with my husband if no one is going to join me.

I miss walking so I’ll start going again soon. I also miss working out. With the boys home (including my husband) and only one TV there haven’t been too many opportunities to push play. It’s amazing how quickly we lose what we don’t use. Even though I weigh about the same, I feel fluffy. Kind of like a big blob. When I was working out regularly I felt strong and, well, not fluffy. It is a good reminder why I started working out to begin with. It is possible to lose weight by simply cutting back calories, but that’s really only part of the equation. To be healthy and fit (a much more important goal than simply being lighter) you have to change your lifestyle…permanently. It’s a matter of eating healthy food, building muscle and increasing cardio endurance. You can lose weight eating nothing but candy as long as you consume less than you burn, but you’ll probably end up worse off from a total health standpoint than if you hadn’t lost the weight at all.

That being said, I’m going to go make some Shakeology. I love knowing that I’m getting all that good-for-you stuff like wheat grass, spinach, spirulina, etc. while drinking a shake that tastes like I’m being bad. 🙂 If you want more info about it, there’s a link on my facebook page. I’d love to make it easier by linking it here, but this blog site doesn’t allow those kind of links. Oh well. 😉

Maybe I’ll get out and walk today. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll start my food journal again today. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll workout today. We’ll see. Not exactly the drive and determination I’d want to hear from the people I’m coaching for sure. I think I need to spend some time whipping my brain back in shape so I can have the right attitude toward my life and doing what I need to do. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Yeah, I broke down and went shopping, but not until the evening so at the kids’ request we stopped at Taco Bell on the way home from their karate lesson.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4 oz 1% organic milk, a little raspberry flavoring and ice

AM Snack – P90X Chocolate Fudge protein bar

Post-workout/lunch – wasn’t hungry at all around lunchtime – 1 scoop Results & Recovery Drink

PM Snack – 1 1/2c leftover fettucini, 1/2c Prego Heart Smart Traditional sauce

Dinner – 2 1/2 Taco Bell bean burritos and about 16 chocolate covered pretzels

Laaaaate snack/drink – had some very strong coffee so I could stay up and help my husband with a project that he was working on – ended up going to bed at 4am

Total calories – 2172, Protein – 102 grams, Carbs – 324, Fat – 56 grams, Fiber – 47 grams

Protein 19%, Carbs 58%, Fat 23%

Total calories burned – 2875, deficit of 703

Yet another day has come and gone without me going to the grocery store. Fortunately, I wasn’t particularly hungry and my husband’s schedule meant I didn’t need to provide him lunch.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic milk and no ice because whoever used the last ice cubes failed to refill the tray

AM Snack – P90X Cafe Mocha protein bar – I really never get tired of these

Lunch – 6 teriyaki chicken meatballs, 2 mandarin oranges – seriously, that’s all I ate and was fine

PM Snack – 8 saltine crackers, 2 slices Kraft American cheese

Dinner – 4oz fettucini with 3/4c Prego Heart Smart Traditional sauce

Dessert – 1/2c applesauce, 6 more saltine crackers with 2Tbs rondele orange cranberry spread

Total calories – 1927, Protein – 99 grams, Carbs – 232 grams, Fat – 68 grams, Fiber – 20 grams

Protein 20%, Carbs 48%, Fat 32%

Total calories burned – 3063, deficit of 1136

This was a prime example of what happens when one doesn’t plan ahead. We were pretty much out of everything that could be put together to make an actual meal so I ended up eating this and that, just using up the odds and ends that were left from packages that include odd numbers of things.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic skim milk, 2 ice cubes, a little cinnamon and coconut extract (At least that’s always easy and the healthiest thing I consume all day no matter what else I eat.)

AM Snack – Didn’t have one because I slept in and didn’t have breakfast until 10:00am

Lunch – 16 black olives (the rest of the can left over from the tuna salad the other day), 1 Hebrew National 97% fat free hot dog, 1/2Tbs Simply Heinz ketchup, 3/4c frozen peas, just heated through, 1 Trader Joe’s jalapeno chicken sausage, 3Tbs salsa, 1oz corn chips, 2Tbs guacamole (I know, pretty random)

PM Snack – P90X Cafe Mocha protein bar

Dinner – I managed to figure out a “meal” for the family: fish sticks, yams and salad. However, after the fish sticks were already in the oven my husband decided he wanted to order pizza. I wasn’t going to eat either, but ended up giving in and eating both. Ugh. I was going to go grocery shopping, but it didn’t happen. Reality check…need to spend more time getting the food situation organized or I’m not going to be making the progress I could be.

Didn’t count the fish sticks or pizza slices, but I know I ate at least 2400 calories and burned 2371 so it’s somewhere around a wash, but don’t know for sure. My meal planner is great, but only if I actually have the right food in the house. I did notice, however, that my arms are starting to show some serious definition from doing ChaLEAN Extreme which made me really happy. 🙂

Never heard of a haystack? Well, it’s amazing. Not just because it tastes good, but it’s fast and easy to make. Plus, the kids love it and it can be easily customized to please even the pickiest eaters.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 4oz water, 8oz Blue Diamond Original almond milk, a little vanilla extract, some cinnamon and a couple ice cubes

AM Snack – 3 slices turkey bacon, 2 mandarin oranges

Lunch – 2 slices whole grain white bread, 6 extra-thin slices turkey, a little yellow mustard and 4 dill pickle slices (Yes, I know I said I was going to start using the meal planner to change things up, but I actually wrote that the morning after which was the same day I was eating this), 1 small Fuji apple

PM Snack – P90X Wildberry protein bar

Dinner – Haystacks! 1 1/2oz Fritos (you can use something healthier, but it’s not the same), 1c refried beans, 2c shredded iceberg lettuce (same thing as with the Fritos), 1 diced Roma tomato ($2.49/lb!! it’s just wrong), 5 sliced black olives, 2Tbs light sour cream, 2Tbs packaged guacmole (not my first choice by any means, but there were no ripe avocados at the store) 2Tbs salsa, 1oz shredded Mexican cheese blend

There are so many variations on this. Some people like to use chili instead of refried beans. Some people add Spanish rice. I prefer diced avocado when possible, then fresh guacamole, then store-bought as a last resort. I also love diced onions or green onions, but I’m the only one so I didn’t bother. Cilantro is good, too. Don’t like sour cream? My husband likes ranch dressing on his. So many options. You just have to use your imagination.

Dessert – 6oz Yoplait Light Key Lime Pie right after dinner, then later I had 6 mini Peppermint Patties

Total calories – 2191, Protein – 100 grams, Carbs – 305 grams, Fat – 76 grams, Fiber – 42 grams

Protein 17%, Carbs 53%, Fat 30%

Total calories burned – 3419, deficit of 1228 🙂

When dealing with old habits, I’m learning that you must constantly be on guard. Just when you think you’ve got the situation under control and stop putting much thought into what you’re doing you can find yourself right back at square one. That was me today.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz almond milk, a couple drops coconut extract, a little sugar-free caramel syrup (the kind they put in coffee drinks) and ice

AM Snack – P90X Wildberry protein bar

Post-workout – Results and Recovery drink

Lunch – 2 slices whole grain white bread, 2Tbs hummus, 8 slices cucumber, 3 leaves Romaine lettuce, 4 slices peperoncinis and a 5oz yam

PM Snack – 1 banana, 1 can Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup with 25% less sodium (I was in the mood for noodles)

Dinner – 3c Romaine lettuce, 1Tbs Wishbone Italian dressing, 4oz fettucini, 3/4c Prego Heart Smart Traditional sauce, 3 crescent rolls, 15 slices turkey pepperoni, 1tsp grated Parmesan (I rolled the pepperoni and Parmesan up in the crescent rolls before baking)

Turns out I was REALLY in the mood for noodles. Unfortunately, little things add up and I kept eating a couple more bites of this and a bit more of that and before I knew it I had finished off the remaining pasta, the last two Thin Mint cookies, a good handful of Crunch ‘n Munch and who knows what else. I stopped paying attention until I realized I was REALLY full. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m in a food rut. I’ve kind of been eating the same things for lunch and dinner and part of my brain wants something different to feel satisfied. Variety is the spice of life, right? So I’m going to take advantage of the custom meal planner on the fitness community site I’m a member of (use the tools available…that’s using your noodle!) and find some new ideas for meals. Plus, it lets me print out a grocery list which is even better!

Don’t know how many calories, etc., but I did burn 2998 so I’m thinking I at least broke even.

Ok, not really. When it comes down to it, unless someone literally has a gun to our head we have the power to make our own choices whether it be what we eat or not or any decision we face. Time to take responsibility. However, he did provide some extra temptation which I hold him fully accountable for. He could’ve eaten all those Girl Scout cookies BEFORE he got home, you know? 😉 Actually, I didn’t do too badly today. MUCH better than the past few days for sure.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 2oz Trader Joe’s Organic Vanana yogurt, ice (seems the kids really like this one and requested it again, but I reduced the amount of yogurt because I found the first one a bit too tangy)

AM Snack – P90X Chocolate Peanut Butter protein bar

Lunch – 2 97% fat-free Hebrew National hot dogs, 1Tbs Simply Heinz ketchup, 1 1/2c whole wheat potato gnocchi, 1/2c Prego Heart Smart Traditional Sauce

PM Snack – 6oz Yoplait Light Key Lime Pie yogurt, 1 banana

Dinner – 5oz wild salmon, broiled and brushed with teriyaki sauce, 1 1/2c frozen, French green beans sauted with a little oil, soy sauce and seasoned rice vinegar, 3c romaine tossed with the sesame ginger dressing I made with soy sauce, seasoned rice vinegar, garlic, ground ginger, sugar, sesame oil and a canola/corn oil blend, and just 1 Samoa cookie

PM Snack #1 – 9oz package of edamame with pods

PM Snack #2 which would’ve been avoided if my husband had let me go to bed when I wanted to or if I hd simply chosen not to eat it (See? I’m taking responsibility.) 2/3c rainbow sherbet, 12 Four Cheese CHEEZ-IT crackers (yes, I counted)

Total Calories – 1960, Protein – 113 grams, Carbs – 306 grams, Fat – 39 grams, Fiber – 36 grams

Protein 22%, Carbs 60%, Fat 18%

Total calories burned (only walked today, rest day for ChaLEAN Extreme) 2720, DEFICIT 🙂 of 760

This morning I decided that trying to measure, count and weigh everything I’m eating is just too much for me in my current mental state so I’m posting what I ate, maybe with approximate amounts. I’ll be back to normal soon enough. Just trying to make this work without going crazy. Just like with working out, sometimes you have to modify. Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic milk, 2 ice cubes (let the kids pick the flavor and once again they went with plain chocolate)

AM Snack/Post-workout!! YAY!! – 1 scoop P90X Results and Recovery Drink

Really Late Lunch – some yakisoba noodles, maybe 2c, with about 10 broccoli florets, 10 or so slices zucchini, um…12? slivers of onion, 10ish teriyaki meatball quarters, and enough teriyaki sauce to make it taste good

PM Snack/Dinner I guess – 2 slices whole grain white bread, probably 6 extra thin slices turkey, 1 slice colby jack cheese, however much mustard my son put on for me, and somewhere between 1 and 2Tbs mayo (the good, full-fat kind…none of that fat-free crap that shouldn’t even be called mayo) and a dark chocolate cherry healthy granola bar that didn’t really taste that great.

Dessert – some of the brownies I made for my family (as if I was going to make brownies and not eat ANY…maybe on another day when my brain is functioning properly, but today) and I really do mean some, not everything I didn’t give them. There’s still around half left in the pan. That’s a 9×13 pan and a mini spatula, not some gigantic pan.

See? Also had THREE mini Peppermint Patties (not 6 or 9 or 12) and a cup of coffee made with Trader Joe’s Vanilla non-dairy creamer because I made it for my husband, but he went to sleep instead and I hate wasting things. Am I the only one who gets really thirsty after drinking coffee? Right now, at 8:51pm, I don’t think I could eat another bite, but I feel like I could drink a swimming pool…without chlorine. No, that would be gross either way. Forget the swimming pool. I’m just really, really thirsty.

Total calories – I dunno, Protein, Carbs, Fat, Fiber – also ??

Total calories burned as of 8:59pm – 2073 and will probably burn another 300ish just from being alive. I’ll update if it ends up being much different.

I weighed in this morning, not because I wanted to, but because it’s my day to do so and I have to stay accountable. I was up 3 lbs from last week. Hmm. Thinking about this logically, there’s no way I gained 3 lbs of fat, even with my latest indiscretions. Weight fluctuates constantly and I’ve been building muscle and half of what I ate the night before was probably still in my stomach (ewww) AND I’ve eaten about a month’s worth of sodium in the past week so at least part of it has to be water weight. Whatever. In the grand scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal…as long as it doesn’t continue.

I decided to do two shakes today hoping it would help with the crazy craving I’ve been having at night. My usual morning one gets me through just fine until late afternoon, but after dinner is when it all goes to….wherever. Only on “these” days, though. When I’m myself, I do just fine at night with a little help from my willpower. Anyway, the second shake definitely helped with the cravings. It was my own self-sabotaging tendencies that got me.

Pre-breakfast – 1 banana (needed something so my metabolism would kick into gear, but wasn’t ready to make my shake before my 7:30am non-“group” walk because the kids still weren’t up yet – and I still wasn’t going to wash the blender twice)

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic milk, a little vanilla extract and a dash of cinnamon

AM Snack – P90X Chocolate Peanut Butter protein bar

Lunch – Greenberry Shakeology made with 10oz Stash mango passionfruit tea, 4oz mango puree from Trader Joe’s, 1 packet Truvia, 5 ice cubes, 1 scoop Shakeology Fiber Boost

PM Snack – 1 1/2c sliced cucumber, 1/4c hummus, 2 97% fat-free Hebrew National hot dogs, 2Tbs Simply Heinz ketchup (I don’t know why I can’t get this to go to the left, but I’m wasting time trying to figure it out)

Appetizer – my younger son set up a cafe on our deck while I took my older son to his basketball game and when we got home he had cheese and crackers set out for us (yes, it was 33 degrees, but I ate it out there anyway because I didn’t want him to think I didn’t appreciate it) 8 Saltine crackers, 1 wedge Weight Watchers spreadable Swiss cheese

Dinner – (which we picked up on the way home not knowing my son was making food for us) 1 Taco Bell 7-Layer burrito, 1 Taco Bell bean burrito

I was feeling totally fine and satisfied and then that thing kicked in where I started thinking about all the stuff I couldn’t have. This is why dieting fails. The more you try and restrict yourself, the more you obsess until you just give in. By the time I’d eaten the Taco Bell, I’d consumed about 2300 calories which would hardly be considered “dieting”. Normally, I would’ve been more than fine with that. But not this day. Oh no. I just had to have 3 more of those mini Peppermint Patties…dessert. Those 3 turned into 6 and then I stopped counting. I honestly have not idea what my final calorie count was so I’ll just show you what it would’ve been had I stopped after those first 3 Peppermint Patties. (Notice that other than walking, I’ve not mentioned a post-workout drink for a few days. That’s because I’ve not done ChaLEAN Extreme for three days. This has to stop immediately. I can feel myself being pulled back into that cycle and I’m going to fight it with everything I’ve got.)

Total calories through the 3 Peppermint Patties – 2437, Protein – 116 grams, Carbs – 379 grams, Fat – 63 grams, Fiber – 48 grams

Protein 18%, Carbs 59%, Fat 23%

Had I stopped there I would’ve actually had a deficit. Total calories burned – 2629.

If yesterday was an epic fail, then today was only marginally better, but at least I figured out why. I said I felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and today was basically a repeat. I’ve come to the conclusion that he actually just had PMS. If you’re one of those guys who still thinks women just use PMS as an excuse for acting insane, sorry, but I think you’re the one that’s insane. I have no desire to feel like I have almost no control over myself, whether it’s with eating or attitude. About the time I was eating my 6th mini peppermint patty I put the pieces together. My general unsettled feeling, irritability and insatiable appetite plus the date equals a serious hormonal imbalance and it’s a force to be reckoned with. So here we go again…

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic milk, 1Tbs peanut butter, ice

AM Snack – P90X Chocolate Peanut Butter protein bar

Lunch – 2/3c Morningstar Farms recipe crumbles, 1tsp olive oil, 2c diced zucchini, 3/4c Prego Heart Smart Traditional sauce, 1 1/2c whole wheat potato gnocchi (I took several photos, but none turned out looking very appetizing even though it was really good.)

PM Snack – 1/3 of a Pink Lady apple, 1/2 slice crushed wheat sourdough, 1/2 slice colby jack cheese, 2 slices extra thin turkey

Dinner – 1 banana which I ate while making actual dinner because I felt like I was going to eat everything in sight again, 2 jalapeno chicken sausages, 2c frozen green beans cooked with Pam and sprinkled with Kosher salt, 2 1/2 Tbs. light sour cream that I dipped the sausage slices in, 3Tbs salsa, 1oz stoneground yellow corn tortillas

Dessert/Train wreck – 3 mini Peppermint Patties, 3 more mini Peppermint Patties (It was here I realized I was PMSing and decided to just go with it instead of stressing myself out more and beating myself up. Not sure if it was a good choice, but it was the one I made. It is what it is. Next time, I’m going to have another Shakeology for lunch because it’s the only thing that helps me deal with cravings and I need all the help I can get on days like this.) 6 Hot n’ Spicy chicken wing sections, 3 more mini Peppermint Patties, about 20 Fresh Gourmet croutons, popcorn (probably around 6c, not really sure) and finally, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich my dear, sweet son made for me because he had no idea how much I had already eaten. I couldn’t bring myself to refuse his gift and figured it couldn’t be that much worse than what I’d already done.

What’s crazy is that there used to be times when I ate all…day…long. No doubt racking up 5,000+ calories and getting zero exercise. So, I guess I’ve made some progress. That’ my attempt at being positive despite my overall negative attitude with will pass in a few days. It is what it is.

Total calories – 3364, Protein – 148 grams, Carbs – 459 grams, Fat – 118 grams, Fiber – 53 grams

Protein 17%, Carbs 52%, Fat 31%

Doesn’t really look like I did better than yesterday, but I actually burned more calories so the bottom line was slightly better.

Total calories burned 3175, surplus of 189