I weighed in this morning, not because I wanted to, but because it’s my day to do so and I have to stay accountable. I was up 3 lbs from last week. Hmm. Thinking about this logically, there’s no way I gained 3 lbs of fat, even with my latest indiscretions. Weight fluctuates constantly and I’ve been building muscle and half of what I ate the night before was probably still in my stomach (ewww) AND I’ve eaten about a month’s worth of sodium in the past week so at least part of it has to be water weight. Whatever. In the grand scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal…as long as it doesn’t continue.

I decided to do two shakes today hoping it would help with the crazy craving I’ve been having at night. My usual morning one gets me through just fine until late afternoon, but after dinner is when it all goes to….wherever. Only on “these” days, though. When I’m myself, I do just fine at night with a little help from my willpower. Anyway, the second shake definitely helped with the cravings. It was my own self-sabotaging tendencies that got me.

Pre-breakfast – 1 banana (needed something so my metabolism would kick into gear, but wasn’t ready to make my shake before my 7:30am non-“group” walk because the kids still weren’t up yet – and I still wasn’t going to wash the blender twice)

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 4oz 1% organic milk, a little vanilla extract and a dash of cinnamon

AM Snack – P90X Chocolate Peanut Butter protein bar

Lunch – Greenberry Shakeology made with 10oz Stash mango passionfruit tea, 4oz mango puree from Trader Joe’s, 1 packet Truvia, 5 ice cubes, 1 scoop Shakeology Fiber Boost

PM Snack – 1 1/2c sliced cucumber, 1/4c hummus, 2 97% fat-free Hebrew National hot dogs, 2Tbs Simply Heinz ketchup (I don’t know why I can’t get this to go to the left, but I’m wasting time trying to figure it out)

Appetizer – my younger son set up a cafe on our deck while I took my older son to his basketball game and when we got home he had cheese and crackers set out for us (yes, it was 33 degrees, but I ate it out there anyway because I didn’t want him to think I didn’t appreciate it) 8 Saltine crackers, 1 wedge Weight Watchers spreadable Swiss cheese

Dinner – (which we picked up on the way home not knowing my son was making food for us) 1 Taco Bell 7-Layer burrito, 1 Taco Bell bean burrito

I was feeling totally fine and satisfied and then that thing kicked in where I started thinking about all the stuff I couldn’t have. This is why dieting fails. The more you try and restrict yourself, the more you obsess until you just give in. By the time I’d eaten the Taco Bell, I’d consumed about 2300 calories which would hardly be considered “dieting”. Normally, I would’ve been more than fine with that. But not this day. Oh no. I just had to have 3 more of those mini Peppermint Patties…dessert. Those 3 turned into 6 and then I stopped counting. I honestly have not idea what my final calorie count was so I’ll just show you what it would’ve been had I stopped after those first 3 Peppermint Patties. (Notice that other than walking, I’ve not mentioned a post-workout drink for a few days. That’s because I’ve not done ChaLEAN Extreme for three days. This has to stop immediately. I can feel myself being pulled back into that cycle and I’m going to fight it with everything I’ve got.)

Total calories through the 3 Peppermint Patties – 2437, Protein – 116 grams, Carbs – 379 grams, Fat – 63 grams, Fiber – 48 grams

Protein 18%, Carbs 59%, Fat 23%

Had I stopped there I would’ve actually had a deficit. Total calories burned – 2629.

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