Tag Archive: success


This was the second day of my big 2 month challenge. I fell short on the total calories burned, but honestly, because I only got about 6 hours of sleep including my afternoon nap I think I did pretty well. I really just  kind of sat around a lot other than my 2 hour workout so I’m not surprised and I’m not going to beat myself up. I know how important sleep is for losing weight so I’m just going to have to do better about that.

7:45am – 8oz water with 2 Beachbody Slimming Formula tablets (no crazy stuff or stimulants)

8:00am – Chocolate Shakeology with 4oz water, 4oz skim milk, 1 1/2 tsp natural peanut butter, 1 scoop Shakeology fiber boost and 3 ice cubes

10:00am – Morning snack – 4 stalks of celery, 2 small carrots and 1 Tbs ranch dressing (the original, full-fat kind) mixed with 1 Tbs light sour cream and a dash of black pepper

12:45pm – 20oz water

1:15pm – NAP!!

3:30pm – 20oz water and 2 more Slimming Formula tablets

4:00pm – Lunch – 2 c of the minestrone soup I made the night before which was even better after all the flavors melded together overnight.

6:30pm – Workout time!! TurboFire Fire45EZ (so…much….fun!!), HIIT20 and ChaLEAN Extreme Burn Intervals – WOW! I must admit by the time I got to the Lunge Jumps I was feelin’ it! I skipped those and made my P90X Results & Recovery drink (just one scoop) so I could finish the rest of the workout strong. Drank at least 50oz water.

9:00pm – Snack – P90X Cafe Mocha protein bar. I was headed out the door so it was something easy I could just grab and it boosted my protein intake for the day.

11:00pm – 20oz water and the last 2 Slimming Formula tablets

11:30pm – Dinner, finally – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz skim milk, 4 maraschino cherries, 1 scoop Shakeology fiber boost and 3 ice cubes. This ones’s bit higher in carbs, but it was soooooooooo good! I decided to stop eating after that even though I’m normally aiming for 1500 calories a day. Since I didn’t reach my goal for calories burned I figured it would be ok since I was over the 1200 mark which is the minimum a female should eat each day to keep the metabolism going.

Total calories consumed – 1316       Total calories burned – 3517 according to my BodyBugg

Protein – 90g, Carbs – 188g, Fat – 28g, Fiber 41g Whoo hoo!!

It’s been a while, too long, since my last post. After I finished the TurboFire 5-Day Inferno with great results I pretty much lost my mind and all self-control. This has happened before. It’s definitely hormonal. I suppose I could’ve posted during the past week, but you know what they say…”If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.” That’s the approach I chose this time around. But after basically hitting rock bottom (I’m talking eating half a loaf of garlic bread followed by I don’t even want to say how much ice cream and washing it all down with 3 cans of root beer, not diet) I am back in control.

Not only am I back in control, but I have a new goal. It’s a big one. So big, in fact, that I’m not even going to share it lest you think I’m still completely insane and not really in control at all. It’s something I know I can do, though, because working from home part-time gives me the time I need to accomplish it. And it’s about gosh-darn time, too! I’ve been working out, but not as consistently as I should and I’ve been watching what I eat, but not as diligently as I should so I haven’t seen the results I could have if I’d been more on top of things. I will say that this is the first time in my life that I’ve lost weight and not gained it all back plus some, but I would like to keep shrinking, not just maintain where I am.

So I have a plan and it’s a good one. It’s simple math, really. Burn more than you consume. I have a BodyBugg that tells me what I’ve burned and I just need to keep track of what I’ve consumed, making sure I eat enough, often enough, to keep my body from going into starvation mode. So here’s Day 1 of my new 2 month goal.

7:45am – 1 cup hot green tea

8:00am – 8oz water with two Beachbody Slimming Formula tablets (green tea and other natural metabolism boosters with no stimulants/ephedra – that stuff is bad news)

8:30am – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz skim milk, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1 scoop Shakeology fiber boost, a dash of vanilla extract and 4 ice cubes

10:00am – 16oz water and weeding for 45 minutes

12:00pm – Turkey wrap made with an 80 calorie low-carb tortilla, 3 slices turkey, 1 tsp brown mustard, and 2 c iceberg lettuce

2:00pm – Nap time since I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before

4:30pm – 8oz water and 2 more Slimming Formula tablets

4:45pm – Chocolate Shakeology made with 8oz water, 1 Tbs almond butter, 1 scoop Shakeology fiber boost, and 4 ice cubes

5:00pm – Workout time! TurboFire Fire55EZ, Fire30 and ChaLEAN Extreme Push Circuit 2 – yep, 2 hours of working out – drank 40oz water

7:15pm – 1 scoop or half a serving of P90X Results & Recovery Formula mixed into 10oz water

7:45pm – 6oz Yoplait Light Harvest Peach because I knew it would be a while before I would eat dinner and I didn’t want my blood sugar to drop too much

10:15pm – Raspberry Zinger tea sweetened with stevia (Celestial Seasonings has tea bags with the stevia right in them – brilliant!!) and the last two Slimming Formula tablets for the day

10:30pm – 2 c homemade minestrone soup or something close to it topped with 1 Tbs grated parmesan cheese and some cayenne for a kick – Here’s the recipe…

Makes about 14 c

1 Tbs extra-virgin olive oil

1 medium onion, chopped

2 c celery, chopped

2 cloves garlic, pressed or minced

4 c zucchini, chopped (I quartered two lengthwise then cut into 1/2 chunks)

1 1/2 c Prego Heart Smart sauce

1 14.5oz can 33% lower sodium chicken broth (this could easily have been vegetable broth)

1 6oz can tomato paste

8 c water

1 15oz can kidney beans, rinsed and drained

1 15oz can white cannelloni beans, rinsed and drained

6 oz fresh or frozen spinach, chopped (I used fresh because that’s what I had)

3 oz whole wheat pasta shells, dry

2 tsp dried basil

2 tsp parsley flakes

1 Tbs granulated garlic

2 tsp Kosher salt (or to taste)

1/4 tsp black pepper (or to taste)

1. Heat the olive oil in a large pot on medium-low then cook the onion, celery and fresh garlic until they begin to soften.

2. Add the zucchini, basil and parsley (or any other herbs you like) and continue cooking until zucchini begins to soften.

3. Add the broth, Prego sauce, tomato paste, drained beans, granulated garlic and water and bring to a slow boil on medium-high heat.

4. Stir in the whole wheat pasta and spinach, cover and turn down the heat to medium checking the pasta for “doneness” every few minutes. (It took 10 minutes for mine to be ready.)

5. Season with salt and pepper and enjoy.

11:30pm – P90X Wildberry protein bar – sort of a dessert, but gave me the last 20g of protein I needed for the day

Total calories – 1465

Protein – 114g, Fat – 32g, Carbs 208g, Fiber 57g

This is it! The last day. This challenge actually went by very quickly. I started on a Monday and can’t believe how fast the week flew by. I was unprepared for today, though. I was supposed to go out and get alfalfa sprouts. When we were shopping for this last Sunday, my friend and I decided to wait on the sprouts because we didn’t want them to go bad by the time we needed them. I also wasn’t thinking about the fact that my whole family would be home all day and that we planned on going to see a movie.

10:00am – Breakfast – Since I got to sleep in not having to get the kids off to school my meals started later than normal. Still feeling guilty about my slip up the night before, I decided to skip the strawberry preserves that I was supposed to have on my whole wheat waffle. I realize 1 tsp. of jam wasn’t enough to offset the damage, but it still made me feel better to deprive myself somewhat. So I ate a dry waffle like a piece of toast and downed the 2 turkey sausage links pretty quickly. I didn’t really see the need to take a photo.

12:15pm – Snack – Chocolate Banana smoothie made with 1/2 a medium banana, 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology, 1/2 c. skim milk, 1/2 c. water, and 3 ice cubes. Delicious as usual.

12:30pm – We all went to the mall and watched Kung Fu Panda 2 where I resisted the temptation to eat the butter-laden popcorn my husband and kids were partaking in. The movie wasn’t quite as funny as the first one, but was still great overall and I loved the message. I won’t share what that message is so I don’t spoil anything from the movie, but if you really want to know you can ask me on facebook or twitter.  After the movie, I headed to the post office to send out some Shakeology samples. If you’re considering ordering it and want to try it first, again, contact me on facebook or twitter and I’ll be happy to send you some.

5:30pm – Finally home and since the TV was available I did my workout. To burn off the extra calories from the night before I added FIRE30 to the FIRE55EZ and Stretch10 that were planned. There is just something about TurboFire that gives you energy. I was kicking that workout’s butt! Since I discovered I can now wear the smaller arm band for my bodybugg I have the actual stats for that workout. Over 1200 calories burned! Love it! And having my kids in the room while I did it made me push harder, too. I guess I kind of wanted to show off and I could tell they were impressed. 😉 I finished up the workout with 1 scoop, or half a serving, of P90X Results & Recovery Drink (also something I have samples of for anyone interested).

7:30 – Dinner – The plan calls for pork chops, but I don’t eat pork. I was going to make chicken instead with rosemary and olive oil according to the recipe, but since I still had leftover honey dijon chicken from Day 1 I just ate that instead. I completely forgot about making the wild rice, too, so I just had a side of frozen peas, just warmed through so they were still bright green and not mushy. Sorry for the lack of photos today. With the whole family home and trying to get everything done it was a bit of a whirlwind.

9:30pm – Instead of having the remaining snack of cucumber, bell pepper and cheese and/or the chicken and hummus pita (which the sprouts would’ve been for) I just had a small serving of the Korean noodle dish I made for the rest of my family for dinner. I still ended up eating the same amount of calories that I would have if I had stuck closer to the plan.

I haven’t been doing as well with tracking my water consumption the past couple of days, but I know I drank plenty today. And that’s it! I’m done! The only thing left to do is post my results.

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno shopping list

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Before I say anything else I have to admit that I slipped, cheated, whatever you want to call it. So far I’ve done great, following the plan exactly, but I kind of lost it at the very end of the day and I think I can pinpoint three main reasons why. First, I’ve been adding to the posts throughout the day as I follow the plan which has really helped keep me on track. Instead of doing that for this day I didn’t journal at all and I’m actually sitting here on the morning of Day 5 writing this. There’s just something about writing/typing everything that increases accountability somehow. Second, I only got my usual 4 hours of sleep the night before and instead of getting more sleep during the day I stayed up. So by the time the sun went down I was tired, but not tired enough to just go to bed which is what I should’ve done, and I had eaten everything I was supposed to for the day. A person can only go so long without wanting to eat, especially if you’re used to eating every few hours. And when you’re tired you tend to feel more hungry. Third, I had used my last packet of Truvia the night before in my tea. So? Well, I’ve been having a cup of herbal tea at the end of each day and it was really hitting the spot. I didn’t want to use sugar so I decided to just tough it out. Not the best idea. I ended up eating a protein bar which, even though it has only healthy forms of sugar, still had more sugar than I would’ve put in my tea. Then I went on to have some lime sherbet which has plenty of sugar, and not the good kind, AND a turkey and cheese sandwich. Yeah, being up late, tired and hungry, is not ideal for making logical decisions. Anyway, here’s all the stuff I did right.

8:00am – Breakfast – Today’s is Shakeology which I make for my kids in the morning anyway so I made the same thing for all of us. Each full serving contained 1/2 medium banana, 2 tsp. peanut butter, 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology, 8 oz water and 3 ice cubes. So delicious! (I’ve also noticed that the later in the day I have my Shakeology, the less likely I am to give in to temptation at night.)

11:00am – Snack – 1 medium apple with 1 Tbs. almond butter.

2:20pm – Lunch – I’ve never thought of using cottage cheese in egg salad, but it worked great. I really didn’t miss the mayo at all. This was 2 hard-cooked eggs with one yolk removed, 1/4c. low-fat cottage cheese, 1 Tbs. Dijon mustard, salt and pepper to taste and much to my delight there was still enough of the chives my friend gave me from her garden for this, too. After getting mixed together, it was wrapped in a low-carb whole wheat tortilla. The salad was 2 cups of Romaine lettuce with a sliced Roma tomato and 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar.

5:15pm – Workout time! FIRE45 + HIIT20+Stretch10 – same as Day 2. Since I hadn’t taken a nap and was running on four hours of sleep, I decided to add 1 scoop or half a serving of P90X Results & Recovery Drink to my water. It really did the trick! I was able to push through and get the most out of the workout.

7:30pm – Dinner – this one was particularly satisfying. 4oz lean steak that had been marinated in soy sauce, black pepper, and garlic then cooked in my grill pan. 6oz fresh spinach simmered for just a few minutes then mixed with fresh garlic, low-fat sour cream and Parmesan cheese and heated through. Also got to eat 1/2 of a baked potato (I actually just had a whole small potato) which I seasoned with a little salt and pepper and topped with a little of the sauce from the spinach.

9:15pm – Last snack – 1 medium orange and 10 raw almonds.

Well, like I said before, it all kind of went downhill from there, but there’s still one more day and I plan to do an extra workout to make up for the “bonus” calories.

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno Shopping List

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

 

Dear Food,

We’ve been together a long time and let’s be honest, it’s been a rocky relationship. I feel like there are some things I really need to get off my chest. Part of me wishes I could just end this and move on, but let’s face it, I can’t live without you. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just had a really hard time figuring out how to be in this relationship without screwing things up. You’ve always been there for me, willing to provide everything I need. But too often I’ve taken you for granted and didn’t see you for what you are – helpful, kind and caring. You’ve wanted nothing but the best for me. You’ve wanted to not only give me strength to get through my days, but pure enjoyment. I haven’t appreciated that, though, and used you…only taking advantage of your “naughty” side…and it’s really gotten me in trouble.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hidden our relationship because I was embarrassed to be seen with you. I guess I didn’t want people to see how messed up our relationship had become so early on. And then there were the times I was selfish and kept you all to myself not wanting to share you with the others in my life. Let’s not forget the jealousy. When I did see you with others I couldn’t just let them enjoy you and be ok with it. I had to have you, too. Can you blame me, though? You always look so tempting.

You’ve done so much for me, but I know I’ve taken advantage of you. Instead of seeing you as the complete, wonderful thing that you are I’ve used you, only wanting to get a quick fix, and completely ignored how great you can be if given the chance. You’ve always been there when I’ve been sad, lonely or stressed out, but then I’ve basically ignored you when everything is fine. Sure, we’ve been together, but I haven’t payed enough attention to you day in and day out. Instead of giving you the time and attention you deserved, I only thought of you when I absolutely had to instead of looking forward to our time together. All those brief interludes in the kitchen with me spending as little time with you as possible just trying to get what I thought I needed instead of sitting down with you, giving you 100% of my attention and really enjoying you. Or the times we’ve been hanging out on the couch, me knowing you were there, but focussing so much on the TV I didn’t even realize how much I was taking from you without giving you the proper attention.

Treating you this way has not helped me at all. It’s just alienated us and, in a way, made me hate you. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, especially since I brought it all on myself. The more I’ve abused our relationship the less I want to think about you and everything you are to me because I feel like I don’t remember how to have a healthy relationship. I don’t like spending time with you anymore because I’ve forgotten how great we used to be together. There were those good times when I respected you and allowed you to give me just what I needed without treating you like a pile of junk.

Maybe we can get back to that again. I know you forgive me. You always do. I just need to forgive myself and give you the time and energy you deserve and to stop acting as though you’re only good for a cheap high or a quick thrill. I know now that those things don’t last and I always end up feeling guilty afterward. There’s so much more to you. You have amazing qualities that not only are fulfilling, but that last without making me feel bad. Sure, occasionally it’s ok for us to indulge a bit, but that’s not what a healthy relationship is based on.  From now on we’ll spend more quality time together, ok? And I know that the more I learn about you, the better our relationship will be. I’m sure that once I don’t feel guilty because I’ve taken advantage of you I won’t feel the need to hide you or be jealous when I see other people enjoying you. Once I start caring for you the way you care for me we can be happy again. I know we can make this work.

Love,

Me

It’s another beautiful morning! It doesn’t hurt that I’m feeling skinnier already. Day 2 of the 5-Day Inferno. I’m feeling great and ready to do this! Last night I ended up doing the workout, FIRE 55EZ (don’t let the name fool you, there’s nothing easy about it) and Stretch 10 pretty late, but it felt great. Love, love, love TurboFire!! I’ve done a LOT of exercise videos over the years and this is by far my favorite, with Chalene Johnson’s other programs, Turbo Jam and ChaLEAN Extreme, coming is as a close second. Yep, they’re tied. If you want to try TurboFire for yourself you can get it through my facebook fan page AND I’ll be your coach AND you get a free bonus workout by getting through a coach…AND you’ll pay less for shipping than if you order through the regular Beachbody website. Just sayin’.

8:30am – Breakfast, which consisted of 6oz strawberry yogurt (the plan calls for lowfat, but I used Yoplait Light which is nonfat), 3/4c. cubed canteloupe and 1tsp. honey (I also added two smallish strawberries, quartered, because they were left over from the kids’ breakfast of Chocolate Banana Shakeology and strawberries).

10:30am – I was pondering if I should drink my Shakeology which was the AM snack and then try to get some more sleep or sleep first and then drink it. I opted to wait on the Shakeology because I know how much energy it gives me and was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep which has happened before. So I drank some water, about 20oz and went to bed.

2:30pm – Back up again and having my Chocolate Peanut Butter shake! Yumm! If one would consider this eating plan a “diet” then this feels like cheating.

5:15 – Started my workout. FIRE45, HIIT20 and Stretch 10. WOW!!! Drank almost 40oz water.

7:20pm – Had my second snack, celery with peanut butter (no raisins because I didn’t have any and I was going to use Craisins, but was fine with just the p.b.) I was so ready to eat. Those workouts really kicked my metabolism into gear!

8:15 – Dinner – ginger short grain brown rice, garlic sesame bok choy, grilled pineapple and grilled teriyaki wild salmon.

10:45pm – Was feeling hungry again so I had my final meal and it really hit the spot. This would’ve been lunch if I hadn’t taken that nap. My friend and I found these great whole wheat low-carb tortillas at Costco (and also saw them at Winco, but of course Costco had a much better price) when we were out shopping for this together. They have 12(!)g fiber and 8g protein and they’re only 80 calories. That was topped with 4 slices (4oz) turkey, 1/2 tomato, diced, 3 Romaine lettuce leaves, chopped, 1/4 large avocado, sliced and 1Tbs fat-free Italian dressing. I have no idea how in the world I wrapped that all up, but I did and it was tasty. The avocado made all the difference. To keep the rest of the avocado from turning completely brown by the next time I use I put the two halves back together with the pit still inside and wrapped it tightly in plastic wrap before putting it in the fridge. I was also very pleased with the paper bag method for ripening. When I woke up this afternoon all the avocadoes were still hard so I stuck one in a paper bag and closed it up. By the time I made the wrap it was perfect.

I’ll probably be going to bed soon and plan on drinking at least another 20oz water before I do. Still feeling great and looking forward to tomorrow!!

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno shopping list

Day 1

Day 3

Day 4

Today’s the day! Day 1 of the TurboFire 5-Day Inferno plan and I’m excited! I’ve been doing ChaLEAN Extreme which I love, but I do miss TurboFire. Just taking a little break from CHX to do this and then will get back to it. It’s 8:04am right now and I’ve been up since 7:30 after about 4 hours of sleep. I’m definitely going to need more than that to get the most out of my workout today, but I’m staying up for now so I can be on the National Coach Call at 9:00am to listen to Tony Horton, creator of P90X, speak live. While I’m waiting I need to jump on the scale and take some measurements to get my starting info so I can track my progress. Breakfast would be good, too. It’s so important to eat something as soon as possible after you wake up to get your metabolism going. If you’re trying to lose weight, skipping meals, especially breakfast, is not the way to do it.

9am Breakfast – 2 slices whole wheat toast, 1 egg (had the privilege of using a farm fresh egg that my friend who’s also doing this hooked me up with), 1/2 tomato, 1 slice turkey bacon

10:00am – Drinking a large glass (20oz) of water and then going back to bed to finish up on that sleep I so desperately need.

3:00pm – Woke up from my nice long nap and had my first snack which was 1/2 med banana and 8 walnut halves. The plan actually calls for 7 walnut halves, but I was cracking open whole walnuts and it seemed a little silly to leave just one half. Pretty sure it’s not going to undermine my progress. 😉 I also had another glass of water (about 16oz)

7:00pm – Home from the kids’ karate lesson and dinner is served. I switched my schedule up because I got started eating kind of late. I’ll have my second snack and what would’ve been lunch before I got to bed. Now I’m just waiting for the use of the TV so I can do FIRE 55EZ and Stretch 10. I didn’t think the 1 c. garlic and parmesan broccoli and 6 oz. honey dijon chicken would be enough, but I found it very satisfying. The amount on the plate was enough for all four of us plus leftovers.

9:30pm – Had my Chocolate Almond Shakeology with a little instant coffee in it since I was starting to feel pretty tired and still had to do my workout.

10:23pm – Finally started FIRE 55EZ and Stretch 10. If there’s one thing I can say about TurboFire it’s that no matter how tired you are when you start there’s just something about the combination of the moves and music that makes you feel energized. Plus, Chalene Johnson is the best motivator! She knows the perfect thing to say at just the right time to make you keep going even when you’re starting to wonder how you’re going to keep going. Love it! And wow, did I need that stretching! Downed another 16oz of water.

12:00am – Made my last meal of the day, which would’ve been lunch if I hadn’t changed the schedule around. It was a salad with white albacore tuna, celery, green onions, tomatoes, lettuce and even though the plan called for fat-free Ranch I used a very low-fat cilantro dressing from Trader Joe’s.

It is now 1:38am and I’ll be going to bed soon, but before I do I plan on drinking another 40 oz of water. Be back tomorrow!

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno shopping list

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

One of my best friends and I are going to do the TurboFire 5 Day Inferno at the same time so it made sense for us to go shopping together for the food we need in order to follow the eating plan. This is a master shopping list for everything one person needs for the 5 days following the plan exactly. (If you are starting with a lower body fat percentage there is info in the guide on how to modify the eating plan.) Some of the recipes in the guide make enough food for 2 or 4 people so I divided those recipes to get single servings. That way, certain ingredients on the list can be multiplied for different sized families. The list may look a bit daunting, but you probably have a lot of the ingredients on hand already and it covers 25 meals/snacks. If you don’t have Shakeology, contact me on facebook or twitter and I’ll help you out. I’ll be posting my progress and results as I go through the program. Can’t wait to get started!!

Tomato – 1/2 (Day 1), 1/2 (Day 2), 1 (Roma, Day 4), 2 slices (Day 5) = 3

Banana, medium – 1/2 (Day 1), 1/2 (Day 4), 1/2 (Day 5) = 3

Lettuce or mixed greens, cup – 3 (Day 1), 1 (Day 2), 2 (Day 4), 2 (Day 5) = 8

Cherry tomatoes – 5 (Day 1)

Celery, stalk – 1 (Day 1), 2 (Day 2), 1 (Day 5) = 4

Scallions – 3 (Day 1), 1 (Day 3) = 4

Broccoli, cup – *1 (Day 1)

Cantaloupe, cubed, cup – 3/4 (Day 2)

Avocado – 1/4 (Day 2), *1/8 (Day 3) = 1 – keeping the pit in the half you don’t use the first day will help keep it from browning in the fridge

Raisins – 10-15 (Day 2)

Pineapple ring, canned in juice, drained – **1 (Day 2), 2 (Day 3) = 3

Medium head of bok choy, roughly chopped – **1/2 (Day 2)

Zucchini – 1 (Day 3)

Large Carrot – 1 (Day 3), 1 (Day 5) = 2

Medium baking potato – 1 (Day 3), **1/2 (or 1 small, Day 4) = 2

Raspberries (or stawberries, blueberries, boysenberries) fresh, cup – 1/2 (Day 3)

Fresh cilantro, sprig – *2 (Day 3)

Apple, medium – 1 (Day 4)

Orange – 1 (Day 4)

Fresh spinach, oz – **6 (Day 4)

Alfalfa sprouts, cup – 1 (Day 5)

Cucumber – 3 slices (Day 5), 1 whole (Day 5) = 2

Red bell pepper – 1 (Day 5)

Peas, cup – **1/2 (Day 5)

Turkey bacon, slice – 1 (Day 1), 1 (Day 3) = 2

Tuna in water, oz – 4 (Day 1)

Chicken breast, uncooked, oz – *6 (Day 1), *3 (Day 3), 3 (Day 5) = 12

Turkey breast slices, oz  – 3 to 4 (Day 2)

Wild salmon without skin, oz – **4 (Day 2)

Grass-fed lean steak like loin, flank, skirt, oz – **4 (Day 4)

Turkey sausage links (approx 60-70 cals each) – 2 (Day 5)

Lean, boneless pork loin chop, oz – **4 (I don’t eat pork so I’ll sub poultry) (Day 5)

Shakeology, Chocolate, scoop or packet – 4 (Day 1,2,4,5)

Shakeology, Greenberry, scoop or packet – 1 (Day 3)

Walnut halves – 7  (Day 1)

Almond butter, Tbs – 1/2 (Day 1), 1 (Day 4) = 1 1/2

Peanut butter, tsp – 2 (Day 2), 3 (Day 2), 2 (Day 4) = 7

Raw almonds – 10 (Day 4)

Fat-free Ranch dressing, Tbs – 2 (Day 1), 2 (Day 3) = 4

Dijon mustard, tsp – *4 (Day 1), 3 (Day 4) = 7

Honey, tsp – *1 1/2 (Day 1), 1 (Day 2) = 2 1/2

Parsley flakes, tsp – *3/4 (Day 1)

Salt and pepper – to taste

Garlic salt – *to taste (Day 1)

Fat-free Italian dressing, Tbs – 1 (Day 2)

Teriyaki marinade or sauce, Tbs – **1 1/2 (Day 2)

Garlic clove – **1/2 (Day 2), **1 (Day 4) = 2

Sesame oil, tsp – **1/4 (Day 2)

Powdered ginger, tsp – **1/2 (Day 2)

Pico de gallo, tsp – *4 (Day 3)

Balsalmic vinegar, tsp – 1 (Day 4), 1 (Day 5 or low calorie dressing) = 2

Soy sauce, Tbs – **1/2 (Day 4)

Black pepper, Tbs – **1/2 (Day 4)

Strawberry preserves, tsp – 1 (Day 5)

Hummus, Tbs – 1 (Day 5)

Rosemary, Tbs – **1 (Day 5)

Olive oil, tsp. – **1/4 (Day 5)

Egg – 1 (Day 1), 2 (Day 4) = 3

Parmesan Cheese, Tbs – *1 (Day 1), **1 (Day 4) = 2

Strawberry yogurt, lowfat, oz – 6 (Day 2)

Low-fat cottage cheese, oz – 8 (Day 3), 2 (Day 4) = 10

Low-fat sour cream, tsp – 3 (Day 3), *3/4 (Day 3), **4 (Day 4) = 8

Low-fat cheese, slice – 1 (Day 3), 1 cheddar (Day 5) = 2

Nonfat milk, cup – 1 (Day 3), 1/2 (Day 5) = 1 1/2

Whole wheat bread, slice – 2 (Day 1)

Whole wheat tortilla (approx 70 cals) – 1 (Day 2), *1 (Day 3), 1 (Day 4) = 3

Brown rice, uncooked, Tbs – **3 (Day 2)

Black beans, cooked, cup – *1/2 (Day 3)

Quinoa, cooked, cup – *1/3 (Day 3)

Whole wheat waffle (appox 100 cals) – 1 (Day 5)

6-in whole wheat pita – 1/2 (Day 5)

Wild rice, dry, Tbs – **3 (Day 5)

* – original recipe was quadrupled to serve 4

** – original recipe was doubled to serve 2

You can also have tea and coffee sweetened with stevia if desired.

LET’S DO THIS!!!

Hard to Say I’m Sorry

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a hard time apologizing to people and I know exactly why. I’ve mentioned before that I grew up in an abusive home after my parents divorced and my mom and I moved in with my grandparents. Though she did not have a job, my mom kept herself quite busy out and about which meant I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. I don’t know the details, but it seems my grandfather essentially rescued her from a bad family situation when he married her. Translation…she had a lot of issues. And it seems she took those issues out on me. I was not the perfect child. I’m sure I had my moments that would drive any parent crazy. But I did not deserve the treatment I got. No child should ever feel afraid in their own home because of their own family.

More often than not, those times when my mom was gone and my grandfather was either gone or in the basement working on his inventions turned into episodes of violence and intimidation. It was like she had two completely different personalities, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute she’d be out of control, screaming and hitting and pulling my hair, and then the phone would ring and she would answer in the sweetest voice as if everything was just fine. No one outside our home had a clue…and neither did my mom. Every time she came home my grandmother would make sure to get to her first so she could tell her version of the day’s events. That always resulted in me having to apologize to her and tell her I loved her. Even as I’m sitting here typing this my heart is racing as those memories I normally choose not to dwell on are still vivid, like it just happened yesterday.

So I hope you can understand why I have a hard time apologizing. Over time it’s gotten easier, but it’s most difficult with the people I’m closest to, my family. My early experiences definitely created a roadblock or wall which, to others, probably looks a lot like a stubborn streak. It’s just not always easy to separate those times when I was forced to say I was sorry when I really, really wasn’t from the times when I want to say I’m sorry because I really, really am.

Now that I’m a parent and trying with all my might to make sure my kids have a better childhood than I did, I’ve started to try to see our life through their eyes. What is it like to wake up in their beds with me standing in the doorway telling them they need to get up? How do they truly see me as I’m pushing them through their morning routines? I know they’re not afraid which is truly a wonderful thing, but do they mostly see me smiling or frowning? Do they really know how much I love them and appreciate how great they are even if getting them to do their chores is like pulling teeth?

Thinking about all these things has made me realize that I have to consider the possibility that my grandmother never, ever asked herself how she looked in my eyes. She was always so concerned with how everyone else saw her and our family. She made it very clear that I was never to tell anyone what went on in our home. Obviously on some level she knew it wasn’t ok, but I think it’s possible that she really didn’t understand how bad it actually was and how much damage she was doing. Maybe because of her past it all seemed fairly normal, just nobody else‘s business. Or maybe she so identified with the person everyone else thought she was, she just assumed no one would ever see her differently no matter what she did.

I’m in no way saying it was ok, but now I’m seeing how easy it is to behave in certain ways without realizing how we’re coming across to those around us. And let’s face it, our family sees us at our worst. There are days when I’m grumpy and irritable and make very little effort to think before I speak, but somehow when I’m around other people I manage to control myself. Sometimes I can be impatient with my boys because I know they’re smart and capable of so much. Yet I would never speak to someone else’s child in the same tone of voice.

So I ask myself again, what does life look like from their perspective? Do they see a mom who is loving and happy and cheerful most of the time? I actually am very happy with my life now, but I wonder if that’s what they see or if most of their interactions with me have a negative tone. When I talk to them about life and how to navigate through it with goals and a positive attitude do they see how passionate I am about making sure they understand because I want what’s best for them or do they just see it as nagging? Other people say I inspire them (which is extremely humbling considering how I’ve lived most of my life), but do I inspire my kids or do I make them feel like I’m not happy with them the way they are?

You may be reading this thinking I’m beating up on myself, but I’m really not. I’m just trying to ask some hard questions because the last thing I want is to be one person to everyone else and another, completely different person to my family. When I really concentrate and imagine that I’m each of my boys I see a picture of me that I’m not entirely happy with. And that’s great! Not because I haven’t always been perfect, not one of us has, but because I can see clearly where I need to improve and what I need to apologize for. Not once when I was growing up in my grandparents’ house did my grandmother ever apologize to me. And it didn’t happen after I grew up and she mellowed out a bit, either. What a difference a simple “I’m sorry” would’ve made. Not a meaningless one, like all those I said to her over the years, but one from the heart knowing she needed to do better.

I guess part of me has always felt like apologizing is a sign of weakness, but now I know I couldn’t be more wrong. It takes courage to be willing to look at ourselves and come to terms with the fact that we have things to be sorry for, especially with our families. They see us at our worst and love us anyway. That doesn’t mean we should take advantage of the situation and continue on as we have been. It means that they deserve to know that we “get” how much we’ve hurt them even if we didn’t realize it at the time. They deserve to know how much we appreciate them for always being there through the good and the bad. And I can’t think of a better way to show our love and appreciation than by saying I’m sorry…and meaning it, no matter how hard it is.

Wanted to go a heavier where I could (our heaviest weights are 25lbs) and I did! It feels great to know you’re making progress!

Sumo Squat – 25lbs each hand/8 reps (same as last week)

Single Arm Row – 25lbs/8 reps (same as last week)

Chest Fly – 20lbs each hand/8 reps (heavier, same reps)

Bowler Lunge – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Double-Arm Bent-Over Row – 25lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Bench Press – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Single-Leg Sumo Squat – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Reverse-Grip Bent-Over Row – 20lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week – still find this one tough, but will go heavier next time)

Long-Arm Pullover – 22.5lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (heavier, same reps)

Just one more week until I start the Lean Phase!