Tag Archive: strength


Busy Mom Balancing Act

I had this idea that when I quit working outside the home somehow I’d be less busy. I suppose in some ways that’s true because technically I could sit around all day and do nothing, but doing nothing means nothing gets done. Ok, maybe that’s kind of obvious, but when my kids were little I managed to spend day after day doing just that. I didn’t neglect the kids, but I only did enough to make sure they were taken care of…and nothing more. Now they’re older and in school and without a job to go to my days all begin the same way, as a blank slate. I could just sit around playing games on facebook or watching TV, but I have actual goals now, things that matter to me and my family. Since I don’t have anyone telling me what to do all day long it’s up to me to make sure I’m getting everything done and you know what? There’s a lot to do.

I could spend all day working on building my fitness coaching business or blogging or walking around outside taking pictures and working out or cooking and cleaning, but that would mean neglecting everything else. For a while I thought I had it figured out. I went to bed at a decent time, got up early to get the kids off to school, started the laundry, took a walk, blogged about the walk and posted photos, worked out, had lunch, spent the afternoon working on my business and finishing up the laundry or cleaning, took the kids to basktball or karate, made dinner, helped the kids with homework, relaxed a bit and then headed to bed to start all over again. It was great and I was getting things done, moving toward my goals, but there was something missing…my husband.

Because he lives and works on a completely different schedule the only opportunity I have to spend quality time with him is late at night. Going to bed by 10:30, I was missing out on that and I felt us growing apart. One of the main reasons I decided to build a business is so he doesn’t have to work at night, allowing us all to spend more time together and for him to be able to sleep more than a couple hours at a time. If our relationship falls apart while I’m building it then it would all be kind of pointless. No amount of money can replace having a close, loving family.  I knew I had to make some changes and start balancing things better.

The first change I made was to stop walking at 8:15 every morning. Other than the occasional friend, no one was showing up to come with me from the apartment complex. I still get to walk, but I’m free to do it whenever it works and I can stay up later to spend time with my husband because I can go back to bed after everyone leaves for the day. I can tell he appreciates the time we spend together and our relationship is getting stronger by the day (or night). Now I have to shift my thinking  just as I’ve shifted my schedule. I have to get used to the idea of being more productive at night while I wait for him to be done working. I have to admit I’ve let some things slide with this transition.

I was thinking about all of this the other day while I was walking around the track at my son’s school, trying to figure out how to find balance again with all the things that need to get done. Then it hit me. The same thing that helps us balance physically helps in all aspects of life…a strong core. The core is the center of who we are, the things that drive us, our priorities. Some things are just more important than others and when we focus our attention on what matters most the rest will fall into place. I knew I had to go back to the goals I had made and look at the top priorities in my life (something I had done when I did Chalene Johnson’s 30-day Challenge…I highly recommend it) to figure out what to spend my time on and what could be pushed to the back burner.

Now that I’m seeing more clearly what I need to do the next step is to design my day by making a to-do list (also a valuable tool learned from the 30-day challenge). I used to hate the idea of a list controlling my day, but I’ve come to realize that you control the list…it doesn’t control you. By figuring out ahead of time what really needs to be done and checking back throughout the day to stay on track you actually create more free time because you get things done much faster. It’s really a beautiful thing, if you do it.

For someone like me it’s definitely a new habit that needs to be formed which isn’t always easy. But after experiencing the life-changing power of the list (that’s right, I said it…and mean it) I know it’s worth the effort. The key is to do it properly and the person to learn that from is the Queen of the To-Do List, Chalene Johnson. So if you need some help with balancing your life and figuring out what it is you really want and how to get it, click on the link for the 30-Challenge and get registered. What you will get from it is priceless (and it’s free). I’m done talking now and am going back to bed so what are you waiting for? 😉

Looking out the window this morning I did not want to go out for a walk, but I made a commitment. When I stepped outside I wanted to turn around and go back in. It was raining, not drizzling, raining…and windy. I was determined to get over to the tree and take a photo so on I went. Before long, I noticed that because of the raindrops pelting me in the face I was walking faster than normal. Not necessarily a bad thing. I pushed forward, took the picture and decided to head back. A forty minute walk is much better than nothing.

Since certain family members had been bugging me about taking pictures that include me, I attempted to get a decent one of myself. This is the best I could come up with. Plus, it gives you an idea of how much it was raining.

I actually really like this one, too. Technically, it is a picture of me…just reflected in the puddle.

On my way back, I saw this person and thought, “They came prepared…and probably aren’t from around here.” I don’t know too many Oregonians that actually use umbrellas, unless they’re originally from someplace else.

So you may be wondering what this all has to do with the title of this post. The fact that the unpleasant rain made me push harder got me thinking. We need adversity in life. If we were all perfect, we wouldn’t, but we’re not. It’s the hard times or the discouraging people that give us the opportunity to grow, but the choice is up to us. We can let ourselves get beat down or we can push harder and rise to the occasion.

If we allow others to define us and believe them when they say we can’t transform into something better, we become weaker and weaker. Soon we start talking to ourselves the same way those who want to see us fail do. But enough is enough! We can choose to be our own biggest cheerleader and find pleasure in overcoming obstacles. It’s not easy, especially if we’ve been our own worst enemy. It takes passion and drive so get mad about it! Decide that the negative thoughts that lead to negative actions stop now. We deserve better.

It’s time to refocus all that energy that’s been wasted on worrying about what others think or disasters that may never happen. It’s time to make better use of the 24 hours we’ve been given each day. No more wasting hour after hour in mindless activity that only serves as an escape from our real lives. Let’s make our lives exciting and fulfilling by changing the way we look at ourselves and the world around us.

Instead of watching TV or playing video games, why not workout? Instead of spending time online planting virtual crops or helping your friends build a new stove that only requires one click of the mouse instead of three, why not reach out to someone new and see if there’s some way you can help them navigate through life? We’ve all been through something that someone else is experiencing and could use some guidance.  And with the economy the way it is, there’s always a need for volunteers in the communities where we live.

It’s time to stop giving in and giving up. Let’s be thankful for the challenges we face because they give us a chance to grow and become stronger. Identify your biggest weakness and decide you’re going to turn it into a strength. It will mean getting out of your comfort zone and maybe even encountering opposition, but it will be worth it. Well, what are you waiting for?