Tag Archive: progress


Before I say anything else I have to admit that I slipped, cheated, whatever you want to call it. So far I’ve done great, following the plan exactly, but I kind of lost it at the very end of the day and I think I can pinpoint three main reasons why. First, I’ve been adding to the posts throughout the day as I follow the plan which has really helped keep me on track. Instead of doing that for this day I didn’t journal at all and I’m actually sitting here on the morning of Day 5 writing this. There’s just something about writing/typing everything that increases accountability somehow. Second, I only got my usual 4 hours of sleep the night before and instead of getting more sleep during the day I stayed up. So by the time the sun went down I was tired, but not tired enough to just go to bed which is what I should’ve done, and I had eaten everything I was supposed to for the day. A person can only go so long without wanting to eat, especially if you’re used to eating every few hours. And when you’re tired you tend to feel more hungry. Third, I had used my last packet of Truvia the night before in my tea. So? Well, I’ve been having a cup of herbal tea at the end of each day and it was really hitting the spot. I didn’t want to use sugar so I decided to just tough it out. Not the best idea. I ended up eating a protein bar which, even though it has only healthy forms of sugar, still had more sugar than I would’ve put in my tea. Then I went on to have some lime sherbet which has plenty of sugar, and not the good kind, AND a turkey and cheese sandwich. Yeah, being up late, tired and hungry, is not ideal for making logical decisions. Anyway, here’s all the stuff I did right.

8:00am – Breakfast – Today’s is Shakeology which I make for my kids in the morning anyway so I made the same thing for all of us. Each full serving contained 1/2 medium banana, 2 tsp. peanut butter, 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology, 8 oz water and 3 ice cubes. So delicious! (I’ve also noticed that the later in the day I have my Shakeology, the less likely I am to give in to temptation at night.)

11:00am – Snack – 1 medium apple with 1 Tbs. almond butter.

2:20pm – Lunch – I’ve never thought of using cottage cheese in egg salad, but it worked great. I really didn’t miss the mayo at all. This was 2 hard-cooked eggs with one yolk removed, 1/4c. low-fat cottage cheese, 1 Tbs. Dijon mustard, salt and pepper to taste and much to my delight there was still enough of the chives my friend gave me from her garden for this, too. After getting mixed together, it was wrapped in a low-carb whole wheat tortilla. The salad was 2 cups of Romaine lettuce with a sliced Roma tomato and 1 tsp. balsamic vinegar.

5:15pm – Workout time! FIRE45 + HIIT20+Stretch10 – same as Day 2. Since I hadn’t taken a nap and was running on four hours of sleep, I decided to add 1 scoop or half a serving of P90X Results & Recovery Drink to my water. It really did the trick! I was able to push through and get the most out of the workout.

7:30pm – Dinner – this one was particularly satisfying. 4oz lean steak that had been marinated in soy sauce, black pepper, and garlic then cooked in my grill pan. 6oz fresh spinach simmered for just a few minutes then mixed with fresh garlic, low-fat sour cream and Parmesan cheese and heated through. Also got to eat 1/2 of a baked potato (I actually just had a whole small potato) which I seasoned with a little salt and pepper and topped with a little of the sauce from the spinach.

9:15pm – Last snack – 1 medium orange and 10 raw almonds.

Well, like I said before, it all kind of went downhill from there, but there’s still one more day and I plan to do an extra workout to make up for the “bonus” calories.

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno Shopping List

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

 

Dear Food,

We’ve been together a long time and let’s be honest, it’s been a rocky relationship. I feel like there are some things I really need to get off my chest. Part of me wishes I could just end this and move on, but let’s face it, I can’t live without you. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just had a really hard time figuring out how to be in this relationship without screwing things up. You’ve always been there for me, willing to provide everything I need. But too often I’ve taken you for granted and didn’t see you for what you are – helpful, kind and caring. You’ve wanted nothing but the best for me. You’ve wanted to not only give me strength to get through my days, but pure enjoyment. I haven’t appreciated that, though, and used you…only taking advantage of your “naughty” side…and it’s really gotten me in trouble.

I’m sorry for all the times I’ve hidden our relationship because I was embarrassed to be seen with you. I guess I didn’t want people to see how messed up our relationship had become so early on. And then there were the times I was selfish and kept you all to myself not wanting to share you with the others in my life. Let’s not forget the jealousy. When I did see you with others I couldn’t just let them enjoy you and be ok with it. I had to have you, too. Can you blame me, though? You always look so tempting.

You’ve done so much for me, but I know I’ve taken advantage of you. Instead of seeing you as the complete, wonderful thing that you are I’ve used you, only wanting to get a quick fix, and completely ignored how great you can be if given the chance. You’ve always been there when I’ve been sad, lonely or stressed out, but then I’ve basically ignored you when everything is fine. Sure, we’ve been together, but I haven’t payed enough attention to you day in and day out. Instead of giving you the time and attention you deserved, I only thought of you when I absolutely had to instead of looking forward to our time together. All those brief interludes in the kitchen with me spending as little time with you as possible just trying to get what I thought I needed instead of sitting down with you, giving you 100% of my attention and really enjoying you. Or the times we’ve been hanging out on the couch, me knowing you were there, but focussing so much on the TV I didn’t even realize how much I was taking from you without giving you the proper attention.

Treating you this way has not helped me at all. It’s just alienated us and, in a way, made me hate you. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, especially since I brought it all on myself. The more I’ve abused our relationship the less I want to think about you and everything you are to me because I feel like I don’t remember how to have a healthy relationship. I don’t like spending time with you anymore because I’ve forgotten how great we used to be together. There were those good times when I respected you and allowed you to give me just what I needed without treating you like a pile of junk.

Maybe we can get back to that again. I know you forgive me. You always do. I just need to forgive myself and give you the time and energy you deserve and to stop acting as though you’re only good for a cheap high or a quick thrill. I know now that those things don’t last and I always end up feeling guilty afterward. There’s so much more to you. You have amazing qualities that not only are fulfilling, but that last without making me feel bad. Sure, occasionally it’s ok for us to indulge a bit, but that’s not what a healthy relationship is based on.  From now on we’ll spend more quality time together, ok? And I know that the more I learn about you, the better our relationship will be. I’m sure that once I don’t feel guilty because I’ve taken advantage of you I won’t feel the need to hide you or be jealous when I see other people enjoying you. Once I start caring for you the way you care for me we can be happy again. I know we can make this work.

Love,

Me

Woke up this morning READY for breakfast! Day 3, hump day. Still feeling great despite a bit of muscle soreness. I’m ok with it though. It’s “good” pain.

8:00am – Breakfast – 8oz lowfat cottage cheese and 2 pineapple rings. I didn’t think that would really fill me up, but a whole cup of cottage cheese is actually quite a lot. And I do believe my body is getting used to smaller portions again. The dinner I had last night seemed like a ton of food!

9:00am – Back to bed for the rest of my 8 hours of sleep. Such a wonderful luxury! Have I mentioned how much I love working from home as an Independent Team Beachbody Coach?

2:00pm – First snack, after being up for about an hour talking to people online. 1 zucchini and 3 small carrots (the plan called for 1 large so I improvised) with 2Tbs. fat-free dressing. I chose Italian because I decided not to buy Ranch since I haven’t really found a fat-free version that I like. My friend who’s doing this with me made her own.

4:15pm – I was busy getting Shakeology samples ready to send out and before I knew it, it was almost time to take the kids to karate. There was no way I would have had time to make the baked potato that was planned for lunch and get to eat it so I decided to have my second snack before we left. Greenberry Shakeology made with 1c. skim milk, 1/2 fresh strawberries (frozen would work just fine, too) and 3 ice cubes. It was pretty good, but I have to admit I will always be partial to Chocolate. I’m really curious and excited to see what the new flavor will be when it comes out this summer!

6:30pm – As soon as we returned from karate I started some quinoa using a method I found on this site. About 15 minutes before it was done I cooked chicken tenderloins in a large skillet with just a quick spray of Pam and some kosher salt. Then I cubed/shredded the chicken into small pieces. I was supposed to use black beans to go with the quinoa, but realized I didn’t have any. I did, however, have some fat-free refried beans which worked just fine, too. Instead of making tacos I used the ingredients, pico de gallo, low-fat sour cream, avocado, those great low-carb whole wheat tortillas and cilantro, to make burritos which were a hit with my kids. (My husband said he already had burritos earlier that day so he got the leftover salmon from yesterday with some of the quinoa…which he ate!!!…and sauted green beans.) I had the quinoa, which was seasoned with salt, pepper and garlic powder, on the side with the beans I didn’t put in the burrito and a little extra pico de gallo.

10:10pm – Once the kids were in bed I started my workout, FIRE55EZ and Stretch 10. This is the same combo from Day 1 and even though it’s not easy, it’s certainly easier than the combo from Day 2. Even still, about 20 minutes in I was thinking about how there’s a provision if you’re feeling really tired to just do 20 minutes of 55EZ. I was tempted. Then I remembered that my friend who’s doing this with me finished the whole thing in the morning and I couldn’t let her beat me. That’s one of the great things about having a fitness buddy. You always push each other to do more.

12:15am – Last meal. This would’ve been lunch if I hadn’t taken that much needed nap. Heaven on a plate. Baked (technically microwaved) potato with 1 slice of low-fat cheddar cheese, 1 Tbs. low-fat sour cream, 1 slice of turkey bacon all nice and crispy, green onion (scallion) and chives fresh from my friend’s garden. She also gave me some fresh rosemary which I will be using on Day 5. When choosing a fitness buddy it’s always nice to pick one with a garden. Just sayin’.

Since I was a bit busier than usual today, I’m posting most of this at the end of the day and don’t quite remember when or how much water I drank. I’m fairly certain that if I have at least another 20oz I’ll be ok. Last night I had some Stash mango passionfruit tea with a packet of Truvia which was basically perfection. Maybe I’ll do that again tonight, too.

If you’d like to see the master shopping list for one person to do the 5-Day Inferno plan it’s here. See you tomorrow!!

Day 1

Day 2

Day 4

It’s another beautiful morning! It doesn’t hurt that I’m feeling skinnier already. Day 2 of the 5-Day Inferno. I’m feeling great and ready to do this! Last night I ended up doing the workout, FIRE 55EZ (don’t let the name fool you, there’s nothing easy about it) and Stretch 10 pretty late, but it felt great. Love, love, love TurboFire!! I’ve done a LOT of exercise videos over the years and this is by far my favorite, with Chalene Johnson’s other programs, Turbo Jam and ChaLEAN Extreme, coming is as a close second. Yep, they’re tied. If you want to try TurboFire for yourself you can get it through my facebook fan page AND I’ll be your coach AND you get a free bonus workout by getting through a coach…AND you’ll pay less for shipping than if you order through the regular Beachbody website. Just sayin’.

8:30am – Breakfast, which consisted of 6oz strawberry yogurt (the plan calls for lowfat, but I used Yoplait Light which is nonfat), 3/4c. cubed canteloupe and 1tsp. honey (I also added two smallish strawberries, quartered, because they were left over from the kids’ breakfast of Chocolate Banana Shakeology and strawberries).

10:30am – I was pondering if I should drink my Shakeology which was the AM snack and then try to get some more sleep or sleep first and then drink it. I opted to wait on the Shakeology because I know how much energy it gives me and was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep which has happened before. So I drank some water, about 20oz and went to bed.

2:30pm – Back up again and having my Chocolate Peanut Butter shake! Yumm! If one would consider this eating plan a “diet” then this feels like cheating.

5:15 – Started my workout. FIRE45, HIIT20 and Stretch 10. WOW!!! Drank almost 40oz water.

7:20pm – Had my second snack, celery with peanut butter (no raisins because I didn’t have any and I was going to use Craisins, but was fine with just the p.b.) I was so ready to eat. Those workouts really kicked my metabolism into gear!

8:15 – Dinner – ginger short grain brown rice, garlic sesame bok choy, grilled pineapple and grilled teriyaki wild salmon.

10:45pm – Was feeling hungry again so I had my final meal and it really hit the spot. This would’ve been lunch if I hadn’t taken that nap. My friend and I found these great whole wheat low-carb tortillas at Costco (and also saw them at Winco, but of course Costco had a much better price) when we were out shopping for this together. They have 12(!)g fiber and 8g protein and they’re only 80 calories. That was topped with 4 slices (4oz) turkey, 1/2 tomato, diced, 3 Romaine lettuce leaves, chopped, 1/4 large avocado, sliced and 1Tbs fat-free Italian dressing. I have no idea how in the world I wrapped that all up, but I did and it was tasty. The avocado made all the difference. To keep the rest of the avocado from turning completely brown by the next time I use I put the two halves back together with the pit still inside and wrapped it tightly in plastic wrap before putting it in the fridge. I was also very pleased with the paper bag method for ripening. When I woke up this afternoon all the avocadoes were still hard so I stuck one in a paper bag and closed it up. By the time I made the wrap it was perfect.

I’ll probably be going to bed soon and plan on drinking at least another 20oz water before I do. Still feeling great and looking forward to tomorrow!!

TurboFire 5-Day Inferno shopping list

Day 1

Day 3

Day 4

2 slices turkey bacon – 70

2 “Cutie” mandarin oranges – 70

2 slices bread – 160

1 tsp butter – 35

1/4 c lowfat cottage cheese – 50

1 can chicken noodle soup (the lower sodium kind) – 150

Breakfast – Chocolate Orange Shakeology – wanted to go with a lower calorie recipe since I went a “little” overboard in the previous 24 hours – 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology, 8oz water, 2 Tbs frozen orange juice concentrate (the equivalent of 1/2 c of orange juice), 1 scoop Fiber Boost, 4 ice cubes – 225 If you like chocolate and orange together this one is delightful!

Snack – 1 c frozen peas, just warmed through, no salt – 105 Seems like kind of weird snack, but I love it!

Lunch – 2 slices whole wheat bread – 180, 6 Tbs hummus – 180, 1 slice American cheese – 60, 2 c broccoli potato soup – 220 1/2 c sugar-free Cool Whip – 80

2 slices garlic bread – 300 I know, right?? Ugh, processed foods….guess I can’t really complain, I’m the one who chose to eat it.

Popcorn with garlic granules and cayenne – 150

1 Yoplait Light cherry yogurt – 100

Didn’t really have “dinner”, just ate those last few things and then went to bed. Total calories – 2135

I had the most interesting experience today in the most unexpected place. My younger son was invited to a birthday party happening today (and he gave me the invitation yesterday) so I decided to save on gas and just get the gift on the way to the party. We were running a bit behind (I blame facebook) and dropped him off first so he wouldn’t be late then headed to the nearest store that sells toys which happened to be Fred Meyer. After I found the gift I walked around a bit to kill some time and ended up in the garden section. As I was looking at all the interesting plants and flowers, thinking about life and my kids and what I was going to write about next, I suddenly found myself in the indoor plant section.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small jade plant, the only one left on the shelf. I instantly felt nostalgic because when I was growing up in my grandparents’ house there was a jade plant sitting on the kitchen table in front of the window. I loved that table because my grandfather made it himself and it was strong and sturdy with lots of scratches and dents from years of use. It had character just like my grandfather. I loved the jade plant, well, just because. I remember my grandmother taking care of it and watering it. I guess I would consider it her plant. The photo to the right is of me standing next to the table. That’s not the jade plant there, but I remember it loving it, too.

If you haven’t read my other posts that go into the relationship I had with my grandmother you may be forming a picture in your mind of a sweet old lady caring for her plant and smiling at me as she lovingly poured water into the pot. Yeah, not so much. Sure, she loved the plant, but there was no tender bond between us. Because of that and all the things she did to me over the years I’ve struggled with feelings of hatred toward her. At some point I stopped actually hating her and those feelings were replaced with indifference. I forgave her on some level and found peace with it. There’s no way I could’ve let go of the hatred if I hadn’t. But today, after years and years of nothing particularly new in my view of her or how my childhood affected me, something very strange happened.

As I stood there looking at the jade plant I suddenly felt we had a connection, a bond between us. My grandmother, not the plant. Don’t get me wrong, she passed away years ago and my personal belief system and understanding of the Bible does not include people going straight to heaven or wherever and looking down or up at us, but that they are waiting, knowing nothing for now as if in a deep sleep. So I’m not saying it was some spiritual connection from beyond the grave. I just mean that I can finally see her as someone I have something in common with. Something that, if she were still alive, we could share and talk about. I am able for possibly the first time in my life to see her as a person completely separate from all the crap that happened between us.

It’s as if a veil was lifted and I can now clearly imagine her growing up, having hopes and dreams. She had friends and boyfriends. Things she liked and disliked. Things that made her laugh so hard she cried. She was a person, not a monster. She just wanted what the rest of us want, what I want…a happy life with a loving family and to feel like she had a purpose in the world. It wasn’t her fault that all that was taken away from her when she too became the victim of abuse. Sure, it would’ve been nice if she had dealt with it and found healing instead of trying to hide it and eventually take it out on me. But that didn’t happen. And that’s ok. I am who I am because of everything I’ve been through.

As I stood there I felt a strong wave of what I can only describe as pure love pass through me. I’m not wanting to sound like a crazy person here. If you’ve ever experienced it you know what I’m talking about. I felt forgiveness on a much deeper level than ever before and could actually imagine myself genuinely smiling at her and hugging her, not because I was being forced to like all those years growing up, but because I want to. I want to tell her I’m sorry, not like all the times I had to because if I didn’t I’d suffer the consequences, but for everything she went through that made her the way she was.

So there I was in the indoor plant section of Fred Meyer having some kind of major breakthrough and thinking, “Wow, I actually love my grandmother,” with people all around me having no idea what was going through my head and heart. I wasn’t planning on buying anything other than the gift for the party, but I just had to have one more thing…

…oh, and a pack of watermelon gum. 😉

After noticing yesterday that I tended to reach for more calorie-dense foods at night out of habit I was determined to make an effort to fill up on more veggies. I did better, although there’s still some room for improvement. One big step in the right direction was having the burger patty with just A-1 sauce instead of putting it on a 180 calorie bun. Yay for me!

1 “Cutie” mandarin orange – 35

1 angus beef patty with 1 Tbs A-1 sauce – 215

1 roma tomato and 1 large cucumber with 1 Tbs Wishbone dressing – 90

1/4 bean and cheese quesadilla – 150

1/2 oz tortilla chips – 70

9oz edamame including pods – 150

whole wheat and turkey and cheese – 200

p90x Cafe Mocha protein bar – 250

Once I went to bed at 4am and then got back up a little after 7am, I threw my whole schedule off by venturing out for a walk instead of going back to bed. When I returned I posted 55 of the photos I took. It was a gorgeous day and I just had to share. As soon as I got back from the walk I had some Shakeology which was a great start, but the weird schedule really threw me off.

Breakfast – Chocolate Shakeology, Bananas Foster Recipe:  6oz water, 4oz Silk Vanilla soy milk, 1 scoop chocolate Shakeology, 1/2 large ripe banana, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4-1/2 tsp rum extract (didn’t measure), 1 scoop Fiber Boost, 4 ice cubes. – 275

I was in the zone posting all those photos and completely forgot to eat. When I was done I was HUNGRY (and tired which always makes hunger feel 10x worse) so I started grabbing food. My husband also came home hungry (it was about 3:30pm by this point) so I made food for both of us.

Lunch + whatever I shoved in my mouth while making lunch – 1 slice whole wheat bread and 1/4 c. hummus – 210

2 slices American cheese – 120

Yakisoba noodles with chicken, green beans and sauce – 350

Another burger patty, but this time I did eat the stupid bun which wasn’t that good and definitely NOT worth the extra calories and another slice of cheese with ketchup and mustard – 550 ugh!!!

Dinner – I decided to just have another Shakeology because I knew I needed something a lot healthier than what I’d been eating. This time I made a Mocha recipe because even though I don’t normally drink coffee I knew I needed to get some more things done and I was really feeling the lack of sleep. Plus, it was quite warm and I just wanted something cold and refreshing. It definitely hit the spot and gave me the energy I needed to deal with the rest of my day/night. I used 8oz Silk Vanilla soy milk, 1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology, 1 rounded tsp instant coffee, 1 scoop Fiber Boost and 5 ice cubes – 275 and delightful!

Total calories – a whopping 2940!! Yikes! Good thing I took that nice, long walk which burned around 800-900 calories so I probably broke even for the 24 hour period. Just goes to show how much easier it is to eat right when you get enough sleep, plan ahead, and eat every few hours instead of going for long periods of time between meals. Well, tomorrow is another day!

Hard to Say I’m Sorry

For as long as I can remember I’ve had a hard time apologizing to people and I know exactly why. I’ve mentioned before that I grew up in an abusive home after my parents divorced and my mom and I moved in with my grandparents. Though she did not have a job, my mom kept herself quite busy out and about which meant I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. I don’t know the details, but it seems my grandfather essentially rescued her from a bad family situation when he married her. Translation…she had a lot of issues. And it seems she took those issues out on me. I was not the perfect child. I’m sure I had my moments that would drive any parent crazy. But I did not deserve the treatment I got. No child should ever feel afraid in their own home because of their own family.

More often than not, those times when my mom was gone and my grandfather was either gone or in the basement working on his inventions turned into episodes of violence and intimidation. It was like she had two completely different personalities, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute she’d be out of control, screaming and hitting and pulling my hair, and then the phone would ring and she would answer in the sweetest voice as if everything was just fine. No one outside our home had a clue…and neither did my mom. Every time she came home my grandmother would make sure to get to her first so she could tell her version of the day’s events. That always resulted in me having to apologize to her and tell her I loved her. Even as I’m sitting here typing this my heart is racing as those memories I normally choose not to dwell on are still vivid, like it just happened yesterday.

So I hope you can understand why I have a hard time apologizing. Over time it’s gotten easier, but it’s most difficult with the people I’m closest to, my family. My early experiences definitely created a roadblock or wall which, to others, probably looks a lot like a stubborn streak. It’s just not always easy to separate those times when I was forced to say I was sorry when I really, really wasn’t from the times when I want to say I’m sorry because I really, really am.

Now that I’m a parent and trying with all my might to make sure my kids have a better childhood than I did, I’ve started to try to see our life through their eyes. What is it like to wake up in their beds with me standing in the doorway telling them they need to get up? How do they truly see me as I’m pushing them through their morning routines? I know they’re not afraid which is truly a wonderful thing, but do they mostly see me smiling or frowning? Do they really know how much I love them and appreciate how great they are even if getting them to do their chores is like pulling teeth?

Thinking about all these things has made me realize that I have to consider the possibility that my grandmother never, ever asked herself how she looked in my eyes. She was always so concerned with how everyone else saw her and our family. She made it very clear that I was never to tell anyone what went on in our home. Obviously on some level she knew it wasn’t ok, but I think it’s possible that she really didn’t understand how bad it actually was and how much damage she was doing. Maybe because of her past it all seemed fairly normal, just nobody else‘s business. Or maybe she so identified with the person everyone else thought she was, she just assumed no one would ever see her differently no matter what she did.

I’m in no way saying it was ok, but now I’m seeing how easy it is to behave in certain ways without realizing how we’re coming across to those around us. And let’s face it, our family sees us at our worst. There are days when I’m grumpy and irritable and make very little effort to think before I speak, but somehow when I’m around other people I manage to control myself. Sometimes I can be impatient with my boys because I know they’re smart and capable of so much. Yet I would never speak to someone else’s child in the same tone of voice.

So I ask myself again, what does life look like from their perspective? Do they see a mom who is loving and happy and cheerful most of the time? I actually am very happy with my life now, but I wonder if that’s what they see or if most of their interactions with me have a negative tone. When I talk to them about life and how to navigate through it with goals and a positive attitude do they see how passionate I am about making sure they understand because I want what’s best for them or do they just see it as nagging? Other people say I inspire them (which is extremely humbling considering how I’ve lived most of my life), but do I inspire my kids or do I make them feel like I’m not happy with them the way they are?

You may be reading this thinking I’m beating up on myself, but I’m really not. I’m just trying to ask some hard questions because the last thing I want is to be one person to everyone else and another, completely different person to my family. When I really concentrate and imagine that I’m each of my boys I see a picture of me that I’m not entirely happy with. And that’s great! Not because I haven’t always been perfect, not one of us has, but because I can see clearly where I need to improve and what I need to apologize for. Not once when I was growing up in my grandparents’ house did my grandmother ever apologize to me. And it didn’t happen after I grew up and she mellowed out a bit, either. What a difference a simple “I’m sorry” would’ve made. Not a meaningless one, like all those I said to her over the years, but one from the heart knowing she needed to do better.

I guess part of me has always felt like apologizing is a sign of weakness, but now I know I couldn’t be more wrong. It takes courage to be willing to look at ourselves and come to terms with the fact that we have things to be sorry for, especially with our families. They see us at our worst and love us anyway. That doesn’t mean we should take advantage of the situation and continue on as we have been. It means that they deserve to know that we “get” how much we’ve hurt them even if we didn’t realize it at the time. They deserve to know how much we appreciate them for always being there through the good and the bad. And I can’t think of a better way to show our love and appreciation than by saying I’m sorry…and meaning it, no matter how hard it is.

Wanted to go a heavier where I could (our heaviest weights are 25lbs) and I did! It feels great to know you’re making progress!

Sumo Squat – 25lbs each hand/8 reps (same as last week)

Single Arm Row – 25lbs/8 reps (same as last week)

Chest Fly – 20lbs each hand/8 reps (heavier, same reps)

Bowler Lunge – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Double-Arm Bent-Over Row – 25lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Bench Press – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Single-Leg Sumo Squat – 25lbs each hand/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week)

Reverse-Grip Bent-Over Row – 20lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (same as last week – still find this one tough, but will go heavier next time)

Long-Arm Pullover – 22.5lbs/8 reps + 3 extreme (heavier, same reps)

Just one more week until I start the Lean Phase!

One of the most interesting and exciting things about being human is that we have the power to change our circumstances by changing the way we think. Once we catch a bit of inspiration and turn our new thoughts into new behaviors incredible things happen. Since it is so easy to fall back into our old ways of thinking, it’s critical to protect our new, fragile, positive attitudes. Sadly, the people closest to us can be the ones who present the greatest danger.

In the past week, I’ve seen several instances where a friend was talked out of something that would’ve been so good for them by a friend or family member who probably thought they were protecting them from failure or disappointment. The problem with that is that if we don’t push ourselves to try new things or try something again after we’ve failed we will never change anything!

People think they know us and want us to feel good about ourselves. Unfortunately, the way they go about it isn’t always helpful. If I’m saying negative things about myself because I feel like I’m failing, I don’t need someone to baby me and say it’s ok to think that way. I need someone to tell me to stop it because they know I can do it! We need to encourage each other to be better, do more, and make positive changes; not to feel that it’s ok to beat ourselves up and stay where we are in life. I saw a perfect example of this on facebook the other day and I know the person meant well, but the situation made me want to scream.

If you’re trying to make positive changes DO NOT listen to people when they try to hold you back even when they think they’re being supportive. They probably don’t even realize they’re doing it. Just be aware of what they’re really saying and move on. If what they’re saying is reinforcing your negative self-talk, push those thoughts away and replace them with positive ones. Like Chalene Johnson says, “be your own biggest cheerleader”. You can do amazing things, but not if you continue to think about yourself and your life the same way.

If you’re one of those well-meaning friends or family members who feels like you’re protecting someone from disappointment please reconsider the way in which you show support. Instead of encouraging them not to try and to keep thinking the same way, show support by telling them you believe they can succeed. You have no idea how much that means to someone who’s decided to face a challenge and push forward. Not to sound cliché, but be part of the solution, not part of the problem. They will have moments when they want to quit because nothing worthwhile is easy. They way you show your support can be the difference between their success or failure. If deep down you’re afraid that their change will take them away from you, by being there and encouraging them through the tough times you’ll earn their appreciation, love and respect bringing you closer together. If you make every step they take that much harder you’ll drive a wedge between you which may result in the thing you fear the most.

I am very passionate about this topic because I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and I’ve let friends and family hold me back because I listened to them when they said things that made me feel like I could never change. I’ve also cultivated a habit of not finishing what I’ve started and no one has ever held me accountable. They didn’t realize it, but what they were really saying to me was that they didn’t believe in me. We think and do based on our habits so it’s time to start paying attention and to form new ones. We need to stop being afraid to take on challenges and follow through. Sure we may fail, but then we pick ourselves up and try again and again and again. If we quit or never even start we guarantee failure, but when we keep going no matter what we will succeed!