Tag Archive: confidence


“I can’t believe she’s wearing spandex.” I’m sure that’s what some of the people I passed on my walk today were thinking. Being a little behind on laundry, my only choices for covering the bottom half of my body this morning were skin tight running pants or jeans. It was raining so jeans were out of the question and so was skipping my walk. Even though I was fairly certain no one was going to join me because of the weather I was determined to do it anyway.

The only waterproof jacket we have in the apartment belongs to my husband (odd considering we live in a place where it rains A LOT). He’s not a big man so in order to be able to wear it I had to choose a shirt that wasn’t bulky…again spandex. With still over 100 lbs to lose, let’s just say I’ve got some curves. As I stepped through my front door I started having flashbacks from those dreams where you’re in a public place…naked. I reminded myself that it doesn’t matter what other people think and that there probably wouldn’t be many people out today anyway. I have to admit, I was torn. Part of me wished I had a big sign around my neck that read, “I know I have no business wearing spandex, but it’s all I had today!” Part of me knew it really didn’t matter if I gave some people a laugh and the rest weren’t even paying attention.

As I began looking for things to take pictures of I forget to be self-conscious and had a wonderful time out in the rain. I had almost as much fun playing with today’s photos in Picasa. Scroll over images for info and enjoy. : )

As I was taking this next shot, I noticed a lady calling after her Siberian Husky which had taken off into the street. The more she called for it to come back, the farther away it ran. For a moment, it stopped about 5 ft from me and I realized just a moment too late that she was yelling for me to try and grab the dog. I’m not exactly the kind of person who’s inclined to reaching out to grab strange dogs. I wanted to get a shot of the dog, but it wouldn’t stay still long enough. I tried calling it to no avail so I continued walking.

Made it over to Alton Baker Park. The building shown below is the public restroom. It has stalls with no doors. It belongs in my Emergency Use Only file.

You used to be able to feed the ducks and geese at Alton Baker Park, but now they’ve asked people to stop because it was bad for the birds and bad for the people using the park. These ducks didn’t seem to get the memo.

Headed back along the North Bank Trail, back to the bridge I crossed over the other day.

There were plenty of other things I could’ve taken photos of today, like the squirrel that let me get a little too close or the blue bird looking for its breakfast or the view of the trail that looked like it lead into an enchanted forest, but some things are best experienced first hand. If you haven’t gotten outside and taken the time to really look at the world lately, I highly recommend it…even if it means wearing spandex. 😉

I just had to share my awesome experience this afternoon. A few minutes after finishing Burn Circuit 3, the boys and I headed out to the elementary school so they could shoot some hoops. I decided to walk around the track for a while just to burn a few more calories. As I approached the track I could see a large, muscular man and an athletic looking young woman in the field the track encloses. They had a “sled” with big weights stacked on top and they were taking turns pulling it down the field and back. The man had a big stack, five weights. The woman was pulling three. As I got closer we exchanged pleasantries and I headed off around the track. The whole way around I was thinking how much I would love to see if I could pull that thing down the field. As I came around the last turn the man said, “Don’t laugh!” I smiled and replied, “Oh, I won’t. I just want to give it a try myself. ” Around the track I went. As I rounded the last turn a second time he offered to give me a turn. “I just worked out, but I think I still have something left.” It was on.

As I slipped my arms through the loops attached to the sled, he removed all the weights but one. Turns out they were 45 lbs. each. I told him I could do more, but he just smiled and said to try one first. I took off and after five steps knew I could run the entire field with just the one weight. I said, “This is way too easy. I need more weight.” He put one more on, clearly thinking it would be tough. Down the field I went pulling 90 lbs. Easy. Could’ve run that time, too, but didn’t want to show off.

They followed me down to the end where I finally stopped, clearly impressed. He asked what workout I was doing. “Ever heard of P90X?” I’m not actually doing that one right now, but I have and most people have heard of it. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Oh, ha ha. Yeah, I’ve heard of P90X. Let me tell you something about P90X. It will make you look good, but it doesn’t help you with functional strength.” I smiled.

My first thought was that perhaps he had never actually seen or done the P90X workouts. I explained that I’m actually doing ChaLEAN Extreme right now and a bit about how it works. He went on to tell me about a local fitness program where he’s one of the coaches and how great it is because they do intervals (hello…P90X, TurboFire, ChaLEAN Extreme, Insanity, etc.) and they do some exercises with weights and some without, like squats (he demonstrates). I’m thinking, “Yeah, I know all about squats. I did about 100 just a few minutes ago. Some with weights, some without.” At that point I knew he had never seen or done P90X. I continued to smile as he tried to convince me to come workout at the place that’s, in his mind, so much better than silly old P90X.

After a few more minutes of chatting about working out and me explaining that I’m a coach with 6 programs at home to choose from and that I actually work from home as a coach, it was time for me to pull the sled back to the other end. Back where we started, they were again impressed by how easily I pulled it especially since I was wearing walking shoes with little traction and they had cleats. All I could say was, “Not bad for someone who could barely get off the couch a little over a year ago.” Again I smiled and continued walking around the track.

Each time I came around that last corner I looked over thinking that I could pull three if given the chance. He must’ve seen the look in my eye because he offered to let me try again with another weight. I think he forgot I already pulled two down and back because he was getting ready to take one off. I said, “You can leave all three on. I think I can do it. If anything, my feet will slip because of my shoes.”

Off I went, pulling 135 lbs. down the field, faster than the woman who was easily 10 years younger and 100 lbs. lighter. When I got to the end I turned around and asked if they wanted me to bring it back. He said, “Sure, take a few minutes to rest and see how far you can get.” Rest? Anyone who’s done TurboFire knows you don’t need rest unless you’ve pushed yourself to the max. I hadn’t. Back down the field I went, full speed ahead. The woman had really started to falter about halfway, even with her cleats, when she was pulling the same weight. I thanked them for letting me try as I handed the straps back. All they could say was, “That was awesome.” I smiled and continued walking around the track, knowing I could’ve pulled four. After a few more laps I went over to the boys. We played wall ball for a while and then shot some hoops. As the very nice man and woman were leaving I asked if he would be back because next time I wanted to try four. : )

Maybe there are people out there who think Beachbody programs are a joke because they’re sold on TV, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m so proud to represent a company that is the BEST at what they do…giving people the tools and support they need to accomplish amazing things right in their own living rooms and be the best they can be. Love it!

Have you ever tried something you thought would be fun or good for you, found it to be difficult, and decided you’re just not good at it? At some point, not being good at that thing becomes so much a part of who you think you are that it never occurs to you to try again. I’ve done that with many things over the years…running, golf, high impact workouts, talking to strangers…to name a few.

When I was placed at the front desk at the dental office where I was working I was so nervous, but it didn’t take long to figure out how to talk to strangers. Most people just want to be treated with respect and to have someone smile and take an interest in them. Easy enough. Not sure why I had such a hard time with that before. Building that confidence made me start to realize I could all kinds of things I never thought possible.

Most of my life I’ve considered myself to not be athletic. That lead to a life long habit of sitting around which meant a lifetime of struggling with my weight. On November 1, 2009 I started Turbo Jam because I had topped out at 323.6 lbs and knew I HAD to do something. It was so hard at first, but my body began to adapt and change. I lost 40 lbs in the first few months. Then I got sick and got off track. All those years of sitting around made it hard to get my momentum back. I needed a challenge so I started TurboFire which is basically Turbo Jam on crack. I assumed that I needed to modify all the moves because I couldn’t do the high impact stuff. The trainer, Chalene Johnson, is a fantastic motivator and is always saying that our own negative thoughts hold us back so one day I decided to jump just to see if I could. Yep, I could. So no more low impact modifications for me. I choose to do more because I can.

Yesterday, I was walking around the school parking lot to pass the time while my son was at basketball practice. My goal was to do 20 laps before the hour was up. As I came around the last corner of lap 14 it occurred to me that perhaps I could jog a lap, so I did. As I came around the last corner of lap 15 it occurred to me that I felt great and perhaps I could jog another lap, so I did. And another. By the end of lap 17 it occurred to me that I could keep going, but I wasn’t wearing the right shoes and my jeans were falling down. Jogging with one hand keeping your pants up is not ideal, though probably hilarious to watch. I went back to walking and ended up completing 25 laps in all. Now I’ve caught the running bug and need to do some shoe shopping.

The point of all this is that we should all take a few moments to think about what we would like to do, but assume that we can’t. Make a list even. Then, try it. Sure it might be difficult and it may require some learning, but what’s wrong with that? We can turn our weaknesses into strengths and inspire others as we do. Doesn’t that sound better than living a life of “I can’t”? Next on my list…golf. What about you?

Anyone who has tried to lose weight has probably encountered at least one person who has made them feel humiliated and discouraged. Sometimes that person doesn’t even realize they’re doing it. They may even think they’re helping. For example, my father-in-law came to visit and the first thing he did when he saw me was ask if I had been walking. There is a bit of a language barrier so I said I had since I just came from parking the car. What he meant was walking for exercise…to lose weight. He responded that maybe walking isn’t enough. He then showed me a product that would help me…some miracle cure for being fat.

What he failed to realize is that I do very challenging workouts, TurboFire and P90X, and eat a healthy diet including Shakeology. He didn’t know that I’ve lost over 60 lbs since I starting taking my health seriously last October. He simply assumed that because I’m not thin I’m not taking care of myself. Even though I’m not yet at my goal weight, I have the confidence and self-respect of a person who’s making positive changes and making progress. And yet, after that encounter I felt like all I amounted to in his eyes was a person who needs to lose weight and nothing else. All the pride I had for what I’ve accomplished and the person I’ve become went out the window.

It occurred to me that this has happened many times before with him and others –  friends, family and complete strangers – and every time I let it defeat me. I would simply give up because in my mind, no matter how hard I tried, I would never measure up. Not this time! It finally sunk in that it doesn’t matter what other people think. I know what I’ve accomplished and how determined I am to follow through, day after day, until I reach my goals. I will no longer let other people’s negativity bring me down. So who’s in charge here? I am. We all are. We have the power to choose how to react to those around us. We can allow them to take away what means so much in just an instant or we can choose to become more determined to succeed…not just to prove them wrong (although that seems pretty appealling at times), but for ourselves because we were created to be amazing, incredible people both inside and out. Then, once we begin to reach our potential we will have a positive influence on everyone around us…and that is what’s truly incredible!

So who’s in charge of you? ; )