Psst…come closer. I’m going to share a little secret with you. Ready?
I’m a little weird. Ok, maybe that wasn’t much of a secret for those who’ve known me a while. Sometimes I forget, though. Today, it was once again brought to my attention shortly after I started walking. Thankfully, it wasn’t raining buckets like yesterday so I was happy to be able to walk a little farther. Still longing for some variety, I turned right before reaching the stadium with the plan to loop around and take the tree’s picture on the way back instead of at the beginning like I normally do.
As I made my way along the busy street, looking forward to seeing what kind of photos I could get of the Xs and Os in front of Autzen, I thought about sharing the importance of being a duck. Yes, being a Duck fan is great, especially since we get to enjoy stuff like this which includes some great footage of the Xs and Os…give it a couple of seconds. Good stuff. 🙂
And we can’t enjoy the first without including the sequel. If you look real close you can even see the tree at around 2:45. Hee hee.
Is it football season yet?? Back to what I was saying about being a duck. I was thinking about some advice my brother, not the one who chased his remote control truck all over the place…other one who came to visit, shared with me when I was going through some drama. Be a duck. Just let negative stuff slide off you like water off a duck’s back. Good advice.
About the time I reached the Xs and Os I realized what I was doing.Just like I always have when walking on pavement, I was avoiding the cracks. But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no. Always one who’s enjoyed patterns, lines and spacial relationships (wanted to be an architect for a long time), I mentally extend the lines that I can see in my peripheral vision and avoid stepping on those, too. A little crazy? Sure. A little OCD? Perhaps. I don’t really like labels unless they actually facilitate help for the person. (Scroll over the images to see what I was thinking.)Even when I’m walking with someone else or thinking about other things I’m still doing it. My little “game” may seem mentally exhausting, but trying to break the habit would actually be much more challenging because old habits are hard to break. I’m sure this one started one innocent day when I was just a wee lass, walking along with a friend or on the playground at school. No doubt someone said, “Step on a crack and you’ll break your mother’s back.” I’m sure I didn’t believe I would actually cause my mother’s back to break, but it probably seemed like a fun challenge. I have no clue when I decided it needed to be more challenging, adding in the other imaginary lines. Probably about the same time I started matching the vertical lines (phone poles have 2, etc.) I pass as I’m riding or driving down the street to a song I learned for a piano recital. Now, it’s not so much a song as it is a rhythm. I have to fit each line into the pattern so I’ll add faster beats if I’m passing, say, a fence or something. I don’t know if anyone reading this gets what I’m saying, but that’s ok. It is what it is.
You may be thinking I’m completely nuts, or at least somewhere around the same crazy level as Monk. I can assure you, I’m not. (I suppose most crazy people would deny being crazy so I don’t know how much good that does.) But, there are times when I miss, or technically hit, the cracks or lines and I don’t freak out. I am always aware when it happens, though. For a split second, I get a mental picture of my foot coming down on it. Sometimes I even deliberately step directly on a crack…just because.
There are “rules” that keep me from losing it. For example, I don’t expect myself to fit my foot in a space that’s smaller than my foot. Monk would, just saying. In the photo above, I did extend the short lines in the border, but not the bricks. In the one below, I ignored the radiating lines because it just wouldn’t work, unless I extended the lines out so far that my foot would fit between them which would happen eventually, but I’d be really, really far away from where I was actually walking. That leads to the second rule…
I actually mentioned this before. I only take into account the lines that are within my natural line of vision. It’s not like I’m out there looking for lines to avoid. That would be insane. Take this wall. At first I started trying to deal with just the lines in the bottom row, but found that I wasn’t enjoying the challenge so I moved a few steps to the right and they were no longer in view unless I deliberately turned my focus to them. Problem solved.
So now that you know I’m at the very least a bit weird, why did I decide to share this? Because I think it makes a good point, maybe two, we’ll see. Habits are hard to break, especially if they’re so deeply ingrained in who we are that we don’t even think about them unless we’re really paying attention. Some habits are harmless, like my obsession with lines and whether or not I step on them, and can be left alone. Some are even beneficial, like the fact that I don’t really have to think about taking my walk every morning. But, many habits are harmful, to ourselves and those around us.
I used to have a habit of sitting on the couch all day watching TV or playing hour after hour of online games stuffing my face the entire time. It was harmful to me because I gained a LOT of weight and I always felt exhausted and depressed. It was harmful to my family because I wasn’t setting a good example for my kids and I wasn’t engaged in their lives even though I was physically right there the whole time. I also didn’t keep the place clean or even ask the kids to help which created stress for all of us, especially my husband who already has enough stuff on his mind. We all need a clean, clutter-free environment to be able to think and fully participate in life and ours was the opposite.
I’ve definitely made some positive changes and the kids are learning the importance of taking care of yourself and eating healthy. They’ve also seen how hard it is to break free from habits once they’ve been formed. I wish I could say my life has completely turned around and everything is as it should be, but I still struggle with keeping everything clean and uncluttered. Right now, there’s laundry to put away, dishes to be done, a floor that needs vacuuming, a layer of dust that needs to go away and trash to take out. Ok, some of it the kids can do when they get home, but I certainly need to pitch in, too. So I’ll wrap this up by saying I hope you will come back now that you know I’m a little “different” and I hope you’ll stop to look at your life to see if there are harmful habits you’ve had so long you don’t even them notice anymore, then take the first step toward breaking them. Oh, and GO DUCKS!!
I Love your pics I wish I had an eye for taking photos like yours.
& if I get it right U make yourself walk so U can take photos which is your passion!
So your killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Do you sell your photos?
clara
Thanks! Glad you like them. I actually love walking, too, so I get to enjoy both. : ) Never considered selling the photos. Maybe I should. 😉
Maybe U can share how u stopped watching t.v all day or on the computer & stuffing your face & being depressed and not motivated to do anything. Gaining weight has is the 1 thing i do well & it is an increasing daily skill. I do those things that U used to do. Oh & letting the house get cluttered & not doing the things you needed to get doing. I guess I’m saying I’m like u were-or sounds like it to me. So if you could help me it would be appreciated! LOL
Fate, I don’t know how I stumbled onto ur site, I think I looking at photo sites. Anyway
wouldn’t that be awesome if u could share ur experiences with me & help someone!
I mean isn’t that why U started this web page??……
Clara
Thank you for reading and subscribing : ) I would love to help you! You’re right, that’s exactly why I started sharing all this stuff. The one thing I’ve learned over years and years of struggling with my weight is that you can’t just do it for other people. You have to find your “why” and it has to be a good enough reason to keep you going even on the days you don’t feel like sticking with the postitive changes you’ve made. As far as not watching TV all day or playing games, I’ve found something that I love and get excited about which is helping other people transform their lives, too. My computer time is now spent getting to know people instead of playing games.
So do you have a “why”? Are ready to commit to making changes? There’s no point in starting anything until you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired because each time we get off track it’s that much harder to get back on again. When you know you’re ready, it’s all about making measureable goals that you can accomplish in a short period of time. Then, each time you reach a goal you’ll get stonger which will build your confidence allowing you to set bigger goals.
I’ll be here to help you every step of the way no matter where you are mentally right now. I’m a fitness coach. It’s what I do and who I am so I’m not going anywhere. If you want to connect on facebook, I’m Mary Likens-Chung. One way or the other, I’m looking forward to hearing about your “why”. : )
The why is; I don’t like the way I look & feel, I try not to look in the mirror & whenever I do I can’t believe what I see. I use to be thin. U would think that would motivate me to exercise but something stops me. I guess pain & not feeling good & liking to watch t.v. I have A.D.D. I am a good procastrantor (excuse the spelling). I’m good at talking myself out of doing the right thing for me. I don’t do well at setting short & long term goals and following through. I’m not consistent in what I do. I can follow through for a few times but then I get easily distracted. I read this reply, & I get so depressed & mad at my self of why I just don’t do things. I know if I would do things; like, unclutter, chores, exercise I would feel better mentally/emotionally. But I somehow talk my self out of doing anything about it. Oh well!
Usually on facebook, there is a place that you can friend someone & I don’t see that on your page. Also there isn’t a link to sen you a private message.
Thanks for your help & comments!!
P.S. I just got a notice in the mail that I have a 35 yr. class reunion coming up on August 13th. That could be another good why. I don’t want anyone from the past to see me like this! 🙂 I have gained about 85 pounds since high-school! Clara
That all sounds really familiar. : ) Which hopefully gives you hope! If I can change, then you can, too. Now, it’s time to stop getting mad at yourself and shift that energy to getting mad at the situation. Mad enough that you want to take action and do something about it. No more negative self-talk. You have to learn to be your own biggest cheerleader. All those things you said you aren’t good at can become your strengths. Check this out. I think it would be SO helpful for you. http://www.chalenejohnson.com/30daychallenge You might have to copy and paste it into your browser. I did this and I can’t tell you what a difference it’s made! If you decide to start, let me know and I’ll keep you accountable. Also, you probably ended up on my “like” page on facebook which I’ll be transitioning over to at some point. Until then, you can find my by searching for Mary Likens-Chung. 🙂
Love the videos, it almost converted me… : ) Love your photos and I think the architecture and love of lines it was makes the perspective of your photos so wonderful. By the way…I don’t avoid cracks to the extent you do, but I do avoid them…: ) And Mom counts everything!
Ha ha! If it wasn’t for the great walking/jogging/biking paths and the Ducks this place would be pretty sad. And it seems there are lots of people who don’t step on cracks. Whoever started that whole “break your mother’s back” thing changed humanity forever. 🙂 That’s funny that she counts everything…maybe it’s genetic then.
Hi Mary,
Did U sign up for the free Chalene Johnson program or did you pay for a 30 day program?
I signed up for the free service, whatever that entails. Is that what U went through,
the 30 day free trial? thanks so much!
Clara
It’s a 30-day program and it’s free. : ) You’ll get an email everyday with a video and a short assignment. She does also have a CD collection called Car Smarts that can be purchased, but it’s not needed for the challenge.